Taking The Leap! An Interview with Adrienne Borlongan of Wanderlust Creamery

Back when I was grinding away at my career as a professional dancer, I was working at a snazzy sushi restaurant in Brentwood, California, a posh suburb of Los Angeles that was home to every A-list actor and influential film producer in town. Tom Hanks called me Jess, I knew Leslie Mann & Judd Apatow's order by heart, Lupita Nyong'o was so stunning I could hardly look at her and Jim Carrey showed me hilarious home videos on his cell phone.. just to name (drop) a few. However, what had stuck with me the most after leaving that job was this lovely human being who was a genius behind the bar: she kept her cool when she needed ten more hands, would make up recipes for unique cocktails that would jet-set me to a beach in Mexico or a high rise in Hong Kong, and of course, was as kind as they come.

One day while working a slow lunch shift, we got to talking over these DELICIOUS macaroons that she had made and brought in to share. I'm telling you, when I get the chance to visit Paris, I guarantee you after my first bite into a Parisian macaroon I'll say to myself "Nope, Adrienne's are better!" Every taste took me to a different experience in my mind because her flavors, like her cocktails, were inspired by her travels and love for different cultures. The texture was perfect, like puffy clouds with a tender crunch as I took each bite, and the love she poured into them was palatable. She shared that she was a food science graduate from the same University I went to for Psychology (California State University, Northridge) and how she was inspired (she says obsessed) with the recipes of pastry chef Pierre Hermé, which is why I was snacking on these to-die-for treats. I was grateful I got to experience her macaroons and talent for mixology first hand but I had a sense the Universe had bigger plans for her.

Cut to a few years later where I've kept up with Adrienne via social media, and to my elated surprise, I witnessed her progressively share photos and updates of her opening her own artisanal ice cream shop. With flavors inspired by none other then the places she's traveled to, destinations she longs to visit and childhood memories, THIS (in my humble opinion) is where she's been headed and guided to her entire life. Alongside her partner JP, a former litigation attorney turned entrepreneur who would take the role of operations for the company, came Wanderlust Creamery (can we take a moment of silence for how apropos the name is?! Nailed it.) I now have words for the feeling I got while watching her life unfold for her. She had followed her wisdom, her gut instinct, her resolve to follow that instinct was so strong she didn't believe the opinions of her thoughts, and had taken the leap. What a risk, what bravery. But when you know, you know... and she surrendered to the feeling. And because of her surrender, I could feel where she was creating from, I could feel that this business was coming straight from her gut.

It was she who inspired this series that will unfold intermittently throughout my Monday Musings, being a spearhead for the spotlights of all the incredible women in my life whose stories will no doubt be of inspiration to you and an opportunity to see your reflection in these change makers that I'm so lucky to be witness to. So without further ado, with an unheralded three stores in three years in the LA area, as well as a permanent spot in the hip Downtown LA food market Smorgasburg LA, I introduce Adrienne and her experience of what it was like to Take The Leap...

Jessie: What was your first instinct/insight about Wanderlust Creamery? The very first thought that bubbled up from your gut that made you think, "I could do that, in fact, I SHOULD do that!"?

Adrienne: I was on an ice cream kick in late 2014. I’d eat at a lot of artisanal ice cream places and while I loved the quality of the products, I thought the flavors were so boring. On the other hand, I’d frequent more exotic places, where I’d love the flavors, but find the ice cream quality really bad. In November of 2014 I was shopping for a home ice cream maker to make my own “exotic, but good quality” ice cream. I did a lot of researching and found the Cadillac of home ice cream makers: a Lelo Musso Pola gelato machine. It was $1300 because it qualified as commercial kitchen equipment. To justify the purchase, I kind of told people it was “an investment because I planned to open a ice cream shop”. I never really had an intention of doing that really- I just wanted to spend $1300 on a hobby and not feel guilty about it. After a week with my new obsession, I made my 2015 New Year’s Resolution to take the leap and finally open a food business.

J: Did you have any doubts? How did you continue to march forward with your vision while having those doubts?

A: I’ve always had doubts. To this very day, I still have them. I remember the moment I signed the lease for our first store- just 5 months after buying that gelato machine. It was time to put my feet to the fire. During the business planning in the months leading up to that moment, there was always a chance to chicken out. But in signing the lease, I was making myself financially liable if the business failed. There was no turning back. I thought to myself, “Whether or not it works out, I NEED to know how this all ends. If it doesn’t work out, then I need to find out sooner than later so I can get on with my life, and do something else.” I was terrified, yet I also had this burning curiosity to see what would happen next- good or bad. I also remember feeling a sense of surrender as if I had pre-accepted any failure that would come. It hasn’t come yet. (<-- Can we get an AMEN!?!)

J: How long did you have a side hustle before going all in?

A: I kept my part time bartending gig at a nightclub because it was a really lucrative side hustle and the hours were really flexible. It wasn’t until the first Spring after Wanderlust opened that the volume really picked up and I devoted all my time to my business.

J: Did you encounter any issues?

A: So many! Our walk-in freezer broke the week after we opened our first location. We spent half a day pouring our entire stock of ice cream (melted) down the drain.

J: How did things begin to unfold for you? Did you set goals for yourself and the business? Or did things unfold without your even thinking about it?

A: While I do set goals for the business, a lot of the most amazing things have happened without me even thinking about it.

J: What was your first "Oh shit, it's happening & working!" moment?

A: Everyone (bankers, other restaurateurs & entrepreneurs) told us we wouldn’t see a single cent of profit within our first year, and most likely wouldn’t even break even for the first six months. After the very first month of being open, we did our financials and we surprisingly were able to pay all the bills and labor with a teeny amount to roll over for the next month. It wasn’t a huge success, but it definitely was not the failure we braced for. It was a definite “Oh shit” moment for us.

J: What does your gut instinct feel like to you? What does your body and mind feel like when making decisions from this place?

A: I feel like I get my “gut instinct” in moments of defeat or tiredness where I throw my hands up in the air and say “eh whatever”. At the end of a struggle in a stressful situation, I’ll just kind of resign myself to not caring as much, and then I’ll have an epiphany. (<-- What I always talk about, guys! The moment you stop trying to figure out a solution and you look the other way, the calm that comes with that surrender allows for the fresh, creative thinking to support your wisdom to come through!)

J: Do you have any visions of Wanderlust's next move or expansion? Any further dreams or are you going to continue to let it unfold?

A: I tell myself everyday that it could all go away, so I have zero expectations of what will come next. I do however have one tiny wish: to have a Wanderlust Creamery at LAX airport. (<-- Uh, yes please! A delicious and fresh treat after a long day of travel? Additionally reminding you of where you just came from or inspiring you for your next vacation?! No brainer!)

J: Any other comments you think people should know about you, your experience, or taking the leap?

A: Aren’t you eager to find out if the “hunch” you had all your life was true or not? Wouldn’t you like to know now so you can stop wasting your time?

Yes, Adrienne, YES!

Dear reader, it is my hope that you have taken in Adrienne's story and can see yourself in her reflection. Female or male, teen or retired - each and every one of you are meant for something great, your VOICE is meant to be heard. No matter the field, career or service that may be of interest to you. No time is ever lost - if you have a feeling within you to start something new or try something new; To go after that idea you had years ago or want to explore a part of yourself your thoughts made you believe you couldn't before, go for it. Start to have an imagination around it in your mind, buy some tools, take a class, or start with a conversation about it with someone you trust. Just putting it in your ether allows the Universe to recognize that you're going for it, and life will begin to open up for you. I know this to be true - from personal experience as well as what you've heard here from Adrienne and the many women I'll be sharing to come. This series is to show you what's possible - that you don't have to be a millionaire to make it happen, that you don't have to wait til "things line up" to take the leap; That when something feels right, then it is right. You just have to take the steps to raise your vibrations and get things in motion - the rest is surrender and trust.

Finally, I'll leave you with a piece of Adrienne's story that made my jaw drop, gave me chills all over and brought tears to my eyes, even though things like this shouldn't surprise me anymore. After Adrienne was receiving press over the success of her first location, a distant family member got in touch to congratulate her on following in her grandfather's footsteps. Having not known her grandfather because he passed away many years before she was born, she didn't know what he was referring to...

...Turns out he was a flavor chemist for Magnolia Ice Cream, and she had no idea.

The Universe works in mysterious ways - when you get out of your own way and follow the feeling within you - magic happens.

See you next week,

Jessie

PS - For more info on Wanderlust Creamery locations and more, you can check out their website >HERE< and follow them on Instagram >HERE<.

PPS - Their ice cream is of course, DELICIOUS.

Adrienne and I at the opening of Wanderlust Creamery's third location in Venice, CA.

Here's To You, Peaceful Warrior

I have been on an incredible journey this week, with an awakening that is blossoming like a sea anemone when the tide begins to shift. I have had a unique relationship with this subject that has allowed me to be fully open like the anemone when it's tentacles are exposed in all of it's beauty, as well as shut down and in question of it, like when the anemone gets disturbed and completely closes up. Where am I now with it? Completely open, exposing all of it's beauty and vulnerability, in effortless flow with the sea.

What is the subject in question? Spirituality - And please for the love of all anemone's everywhere, keep reading, I promise not to bore you or go down any religious path (quite the opposite is true) - and coming from a woman who was raised without any specific religious or spiritual beliefs, you will more than likely see a small reflection of yourself whether you were raised with a religion or not.

As far as my previous religious/spiritual experience, I've had quite the hodgepodge to pull from. I've gone to an array of Christian Sunday services of different sects, Native American spiritual circles, a day of prayer in a Hindu temple, I camped on the side of a mountain for a week to explore deep meditation. When I was young, I had a curiosity for watching different types of sermons on Sunday morning TV, as well as rocked out to an LP of the inimitable Andrae Crouch while vacuuming my parent's living room.

Growing up there were conversations of Jesus being a great man who gave people belonging by telling his story, similar to so many other great leaders whether in religion or activism. It seemed to me that the folks writing down their stories were the one's that screwed up the feeling of it all. Heart, connection, love, understanding, belonging, a feeling that could be identified in music, dancing, paintings, ART - that is what was most important.

So why all of this backstory? Well frankly, I'm realizing as I type that I've been on quite the search my whole life for something that fits for me. I've always sensed there was something greater, it never felt right to think that we're these skin suits that walk around then get dumped in the earth when we're done grinding away our whole lives. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks this time last week.

I was with a dear mentor of mine who replied to me after asking about some blocks I've been feeling with my work: "You aren't accepting the spiritual."

WHAT?!

The 3 Principles behind our experience of life that is the base of my work is spiritual! I talk out my nose to you and my clients all day long about listening to your wisdom, to trust the Universe - if that ain't spiritual, I don't know what is!!!

But guess what? He was right.

The moment he said it and I got past my thought storm that spiraled from "he doesn't realize how far I've come....." there came the bricks. I could see and trust all of what I was saying for YOU, my readers and clients... but when it came to my life, I was still trying to teach the cooks in the kitchen how to make my food. In my meditations I had been having incredible experiences, insights deepening my resolve to continue this path of sharing my work no matter how difficult it seems (aka the reality of building a business, which really only looks difficult when in a bummer state of mind). But as soon as my eyes would open from meditation, the thoughts started flying and I couldn't completely release my grip on the blueprint of my life. I needed to know each step like the board game of LIFE in front of me. For you? For the people I see day-in and day-out? I was tapped in - I could see it - but I was too scared to completely surrender for myself.

Of course I'm human and will surely have to catch myself in all of my humanness in the future, but I've released my grip on my own innocent, getting-in-my-own-way experience of life. A veil has been lifted.  I can see all of the breadcrumbs from the Universe - the synchronicity and manifestations are so obvious that I almost have to look around to see if anyone else is noticing them too. And to add insult to injury (with the most positive of meaning behind that), just before this crack in my world exposed itself, I was drawn to pick up a book I've had on my bookshelf since my sophomore year of high school. It's the only book I read word for word back then, and I think it will be by my side for the rest of my life. As so eloquently written by Dan Millman in Way of the Peaceful Warrior, this perfectly sums up what I've always been seeking:

(A conversation between the Peaceful Warrior named Socrates and Dan, a college student in search)

"... you fear death and crave survival. You want Forever, you desire Eternity. In your deluded belief that you are this 'mind' or 'spirit' or 'soul,' you find the escape clause in your contract with mortality. Perhaps as 'mind' you can wing free of the body when it dies, hmm?"

"It's a thought," Dan said with a grin.

"That's exactly what it is, Dan - a thought - no more real than the shadow of a shadow. Consciousness is not in the the body; the body is in Consciousness. And you are that Consciousness - not the phantom mind that troubles you so. You are the body, but you are everything else, too. (...) Only the mind resists change. When you relax mindless into the body, you are happy and content and free, sensing no separation. Immortality is already yours, but not in the way you imagine or hope for. You have been immortal since before you were born and will be long after the body dissolves. The body is Consciousness; never born; never dies; only changes. The mind - your ego, personal beliefs, history, and identity - is all that ends at death. (...)"

Then the clincher...

"Words mean little unless you realize the truth of it yourself. And when you do, you'll be free at last."

So here's to you, Peaceful Warrior, I hope no matter where you lie on the spiritual spectrum, whether the only relationship you have to me is through reading my blogs or if I'm lucky enough to connect with you in person, I want nothing else in this life but for you to reach the peace of mind and freedom that comes with recognizing that our personal human thoughts are the only thing that get in the way of us being guided so effortlessly in this thing called life. Like the sea anemone, completely open, showing it's beautiful colors and swaying back and forth with every swish of the sea around her. And the beauty of it all...

...it was with me the whole time; In me, around me, of me..

...As it is within you, around you, and of you.

Thank you for reading such a meaningful post that comes straight from my heart to yours.

All my love,

Jessie
 

Urges Or Habits You Can't Break? This One's For You... And All Of Us

We ALL have something, if not multiple things, that we habitually do or have urges for throughout our days. We're human and it's how we've been taught to cope with the stressors of life. For example, do you zone out to TV for too long? Smoke, drink, bite your nails? Mindlessly eat? Do you ever get caught up in your phone? Do you mindlessly scroll through social media?

*Raises hand*

I have fallen pray to the mindless scrolling on social media, as many of us have, and I recently recognized that I do this out of a need for a comforting feeling when I'm in my thoughts about life. Sound familiar? You may be experiencing it with a different form of urge or habit, but the lessons are the same. For me, I've been wanting to override the urge, because my wisdom has been telling me to "back away from the phone" for quite some time now. So of course, as the Universe provides when you're open and curious about something, I came across an audio from 3 Principles practitioner George Pransky that got my insights going.

What is the nature of an urge? It is a thought with a great special effects system. My Consciousness (which provides all of the special effects) makes the urge look really enticing, so my thoughts begin saying "Oh, I'll just look at it for 10 minutes" or "I'll look up this one thing then put it down," because no matter if it's 'good' for me or not, in that moment with all things considered, my reasoning makes it look like the best idea. AND HERE'S THE KICKER - this actually kind of blew my mind because it made so much sense. You will always have thoughts to support the urge because the intelligence behind life follows your lead - the ever-flowing energy that keeps our thoughts moving is a servant to our current thinking, not necessarily what we would consider to be best for us (<--- that last bit is what made my jaw drop).

I see your furrowed brow... keep reading.

*Let all of this sink in like music, don't overthink... just reading through it will begin the awakening within you and you'll see examples pop up in your life to deepen the understanding...

Let me ask you this: Have you ever done something where you look back and go "What was I thinking?" Like speeding to work because you're late, you know cops don't normally hang around your route and you don't want to get in trouble at work - then you get pulled over - DOH! That is exactly like me picking up my phone and here's why - if in the moment I have the urge to pick up my phone (like speeding to work) and my thinking supports it (ie: the reasons as to why it's a good idea), the intelligence behind life will be of service to that thinking and continue to provide more thinking to support it (this is how we get caught up in thought storms!)

So how do you break the habit or the urge, you ask? Well, there is a resolve that exists within us when we no longer want to engage in a habit or urge, however large or small. The larger the resolve, the more the intelligence behind life will support THAT thinking. Since I've had this insight that my phone provides false comfort that keeps me disengaged, I've hit my limit and my resolve has become incredibly strong. If I were to quantify it, I would say that I am 75% not wanting to get caught up on my phone, and 25% willing to do so. So when I pick up my phone for work, the intelligence behind life, that energy, supports the thinking going through my mind in that moment which is now just to do my post or engage with whatever I need to, and put it down. And here's the thing, it isn't about having a strong will to overcome the urge anymore, the resolve in itself has shifted my thinking and the energy is spiritually supporting it. This goes for any type of urge - eating, smoking, drinking, nail biting, etc.

Pransky made a great point - if you look back on any urges/habits/addictions that you've overcome, you'll notice that your resolve existed from the first time you gave in to the urge, but as time passed, your resolve got deeper. And your resolve can change, it can grow stronger and weaker, it isn't something that only grows stronger (or maybe it never grows stronger at all). Need an example? My husband Mike was a smoker since before we were together, and for most of his smoking years, didn't think much about it - I would say for the first two years of our relationship, there was no talk of quitting. But then something shifted and he decided to switch to American Spirits because they don't have any chemical additives, therefore making it a bit easier (as far as the physical side effects) to drop the habit. Though he didn't have any intention of quitting at that point, in hindsight, this was the resolve growing without him even being aware of it. From there he quit about a year or two later, but his resolve wasn't strong enough - just one more was enough reason to keep it going. Then one day he heard about a famous study that showed that if you quit smoking by age 30, scientists couldn't show a statistically significant difference in mortality rate from non-smokers. That was it. He decided that no matter what, he would have his last cigarette on the last day of his 29th year. And guess what? He did it. Cold turkey. 9 years have gone by and he doesn't even have the slightest urge to pick up the habit again. Now, I also have friends who have quit and still feel the urge to pick one up when others are smoking around them, but the resolve is so strong to not pick up the habit again, that the intelligence behind life supports it!

So what to do now, you ask? Truly, nothing. Your awareness has already been engaged. Re-read above when you feel the need to get a little more clear on the understanding, but having the understanding of how the nature of urges work in and of itself, naturally creates a buffer between you and the urge. Just like the rest of my work, as soon as the understanding clicks, even the slightest bit, there is literally a cognitive shift that permanently changes your perspective on life. That's why I can see someone for one or two sessions and they see life differently in all aspects. The beauty of this work and why I call it the understanding, is because once you see it clearly, the insights keep coming and coming, your understanding gets deeper and you become more peaceful - it's absolutely incredible to watch.

As always, I hope this brings some insight into the way you tick as a human being and brings you some peace of mind. Feel free to comment below with any questions or observations and share it with your friends and family to spread the word - urges and unwanted habits are the pits!

All my love and see you next week,

Jessie

Guilty As Charged!

I admit it. I'm guilty. Yep, happens to me all the time...

Hi, my name is Jessie, and I am an overthinker.

Is it the fact that I come from a family of therapists, so it's second nature to analyze the crap out of every little thing? (Which was quickly supported by my Psych education... Nervous? Stressed? Anxious? Dig in your past, you'll find the answers there... oh, bother). Is it because I'm an entrepreneur secretly stuck in the body of someone who wants a traditional 9-5? (I've tried that, so I know it isn't the answer, whew!)

Oh, it's because I'm human? Thank god... I can deal with that.

Since last weeks post (TRUST In The Timing), I've been made aware of the way I process life - lets just say that I don't do my introspection as introspectively as I thought I did - my husband Mike just the other day said, "Jesus, you have so many THOUGHTS!" which made me laugh all while giving me major insight. The insight was, here I am not getting emotionally hooked or triggered by my thinking (at least not a majority of the time), yet I still take the headline thoughts very seriously (particularly everything that comes up pertaining to my business). Do you understand what I mean? I do a great job of not getting tossed into a thought storm that I believe to be true which can result in anxiety and stress, but I still look at each thought with a magnified glass, as opposed to allowing them to pass effortlessly.

I hear ya, Pooh!

The understanding is about to go deeper.

See, the clearer I've become on the role of Thought in my understanding of the world around me: that we live through the lens of our thinking 100% of the time, and that our feelings come from our thoughts 100% of the time - the less I have been emotionally triggered by them. BUT now I have trained myself to grab a hold of a thought, try to make meaning out of it, try to see what the 'hidden message' is within it, then let it go back into the heavy stream of thoughts that flow when I'm done with it. Like catching a fish purely for the sport of the catch, then letting it go back into the water. Because I don't deal with anxiety any more like I did in the past, this new little trick of mine slipped under the radar until it was pointed out to me.

So if I'm not feeling anxious or getting emotionally triggered by this new trick of mine, what's the big deal? I'll tell ya: It keeps me distracted from my wisdom, therefore keeping me frozen instead of in motion. I find myself going around and around in my head some days about which move I should make next for my business: Who should I contact next? Should I start compiling all my writings for my book? Should I get back to my weekly or bi-weekly group meetings? Should I clarify a bunch of topics for guest pieces for online publications now? Or wait til I begin to reach out to them? And of course each idea comes with ten more ideas and guess what?! If I didn't stop to mull it all over and I just ACTED out of my wisdom, all of those things would be done within a day (and by the way, I know the answer is YES to all of the above). Of course I'm still productive, but it takes more effort to rise out of my brain and it's incredible how much time is lost to going around and around with it all. Am I grateful for my understanding of how Thought works so none of them are making me feel ill? ABSOLUTELY. But, I'm seeing now that there's yet another level deeper into the understanding, into the consistent peaceful abyss that exists for the taking - or should I say - for the being.

As per usual with lessons like these, when they show up in more of a brick-upside-the-head kind of way as opposed to a whisper kind of way, the Universe brought me the last piece of the puzzle via my mom and her recent insight that made me (and her) click into a deeper knowing of this thing called life. I am majorly paraphrasing, but it was something said by Sydney Banks, the wonderful human being who had the insight into the 3 Principles behind our human experience that my work is based in: Don't get caught up in the game of the thinking, just observe it. The game of the thinking. That is exactly what I needed to hear. Our thoughts are always at play, sometimes they're playing with knives during a storm, sometimes they're kicking a ball back and forth in the sunshine, but either way - observe the game, and keep honoring your wisdom. Life will continue to unfold for us when we get out of our own way with our thoughts - and what's even more magical? When we're not in our head, or rather, choosing to observe the game in our head instead of play it, we naturally come back to the moment and get to witness all of the little breadcrumbs from the Universe, allowing for the journey to be the fun part, not just the goal at the end of the journey. Wow, what a wonderful feeling.

Thank you for being on the journey with me~

All my love and see you next week,

Jessie

TRUST In The Timing...

Trust in the timing...

Trust in wisdom...

Trust in the Universe...

Trust in Mind...

Did you need to be reminded of this today? Just so you know, I have to remind myself all the time, and heavily so in the last week.

It's amazing where our thoughts can take us, isn't it? Expectations have been running rampant in my brain and they can lead to such intense thought storms. I'm so passionate about my work and so eager to reach the masses, I get caught up in my thinking that I wish the word was spreading about me at a more rapid pace. I can get caught up in my thinking that I need to be doing more, posting more, writing more, meditating more, visualizing more, emailing more, connecting more. And yet because I do all of those things on the daily and I'm not wildly successful yet, when I'm in that thought storm I can start to have fearful and impatient thinking about how long it's going to take before I do reach the masses, before I have a full private practice, before I have inquiries for speaking engagements, before I'm asked to write contributing articles, and so on and so on and so on.

And then I remember...

Trust in the timing...

Trust in wisdom...

Trust in the Universe...

Trust in Mind...

None of the thoughts are real. They look really real to me when I'm in the chaos of my personal mind because my Ego is desperate for more. My Ego tells me I should be at Oprah's level even though I leapt from my job and made myself fully available to the world a mere 5 and a half months ago. And really, what is Ego? What bubbles up for me is that it's merely more thoughts, but with a loud f#$%ing mouth. It's the overbearing and shrill voice of the P.E. teacher in school, screaming into the megaphone to stop walking and start running around the race track or else you aren't going to get enough laps in for the day (God bless Ms. Moody, but her name was very apropos). But like the P.E. teacher, the Ego is well intentioned I just don't have to believe everything it says. I appreciate the drive and confidence it gives me, but beyond that I have to remind myself that any negative thoughts it produces is again, as always, just thoughts. I have to remind myself to take a page from my own book and remember that you CANNOT RUSH the beautiful timing of the Universe, of Mind. My wisdom is always correct, my wisdom can absolutely be trusted. I get messages from people daily that I've helped them, I've touched them, I've reminded them that they are totally normal and human for getting caught up in the whirlwind of the punches life throws them, but that there is peace available to them the moment they choose it.

That's what matters. That's the work.

*Deep breath Jessie... TRUST*

So if there is anywhere in your life that you're feeling impatient, let me remind you that as long as you're in touch with your wisdom, as long as you're doing what FEELS right, you are always being guided at the pace that is absolutely on purpose. I'm reminding myself right now as I write this because I'm human too and man oh man it can be hard sometimes. Remember that if you're thrown into a thought storm, the nature of the energy of Thought is flowing, so it will pass. It feels like it won't because thoughts can feel so real and true, but they aren't. And because our feelings come from our thoughts 100% of the time, they flow right along with the waves of Thought. It's magnificently simple but seems absolutely difficult when we're wrapped up in the complexity of our brains. I promise you, I understand.

All in all, after this very cathartic Monday Musings, I'm back to feeling peaceful as I hope you are feeling as well. I will take each next step the best I know how and trust that life will continue to unfold FOR me and not against me, because that is truly the way it works. I don't have to be moving faster, doing more, forcing my way through life, because all that does is create a stressed out Jess that isn't taking in the beautiful and magical moments of my everyday experiences. Thank you for being here with me, thank you for trusting me with your open heart while I open your eyes to a different perspective. I hope this gives you insight into that conversation you're fearing to have, that leap you're wanting to take, that problem you're wanting to figure out, that promotion you're wishing came quicker - the blueprint is already drawn, the road is already paved - honor your wisdom, do what feels right, and let go of the rest.

So much love to you, see you next week~

Jessie

The Truth Is Out... And Bickering Is What Made Me See It

It's an incredible thing, being in a relationship with someone - and I don't just mean your partner. I'm also referring to your relationships with your parents, your friends, your siblings, your co-workers, your neighbors, YOURSELF...

This past week got a little prickly between my husband and I. My best friend of 14 and a half years was grinding my gears, and frankly, I was grinding on his. What were we bickering about? Honestly? Anything and everything - From "I wish you would respect me more in this area" to "Why would you say that? I'm just trying to help." And you know what? Both of those sentences came out of BOTH of our mouths, so this article is judgement-free.

What has been insightful for me to reflect on, is the fact that we as humans are truly in constant evolution. Effortlessly flowing and evolving, continually creating a new reality for ourselves without thinking about it. In the same way that Thought is transitory and constantly flowing (when we allow it), the way our heart beats without us telling it to or our lungs expand and contract without our direction, there is evolution happening within us on a spiritual level - moment by moment - without our effort. We don't have to think to ourselves "I need to change and evolve," it just happens. And when we allow the flow to happen, we naturally auto-correct to our default setting of peace, love and clarity and our reality unfolds for us without us even thinking about it. We are so One with our wisdom that we flow in the greater wisdom of life. In relationship to Mike and I, we attempt to function from this place by choice because we trust our wisdom and our communication with each other, but what woke us up to a new reality was the fact that the flow all of a sudden had a bunch of rocks and boulders getting in the way. It's as if we held a mirror up to each other and said "Look! You're different!" This is where the insight hit me with a big A-HA!

We are so used to believing that on a subconscious level (or for some, even the conscious level) that people don't change, including ourselves. That there are concrete truths about who we are that won't ever shift. But here's the thing, it's not that people don't change, it's our thinking about those people that doesn't change (!!) It's not that I can't change, it's the thinking about those concrete truths about myself that doesn't change (!!) What we believe to be their behaviors, their beliefs, their being (or our behaviors, our beliefs or our being), is rock solid in our brain and any experience that pulls the curtain to any kind of deviation from what we think we know about that person or ourselves, must be circumstantial.

WHOA

Need me to repeat those truth bombs?!

It's not that people don't change, it's our thinking about people that doesn't change.

It's not that I can't change, it's the thinking about those concrete truths about myself that doesn't change.

Yes, Oprah, you heard me right!

For example, in the little spats that Mike and I were getting into, we were reading each other through the lens of our beliefs that we already knew what the other person would normally react like. And by the way, we make a concerted effort to truly approach each other with new eyes and ears, all the time. But on a subconscious level, what was making us constantly lock up, was an expectation of each other that couldn't be met because neither of us are the same person we were two minutes ago. It was the ultimate wake up call to recognize that we are truly, unequivocally, evolving all the time; And in order to stay in flow with the relationship, whether it be with yourself or another human being, you must show up as if you are learning more new information about that person (or yourself), in that moment. Staying curious (flowing) as opposed to assuming (concrete). If our thoughts are constantly flowing, therefore our feelings are constantly flowing with them, of course we are inevitably going to experience a different self or different person in a relationship, depending on where our thoughts are.

Another layer to this, that I'm sure you can relate to, is seeing someone you haven't seen in quite a while. We often say, "Wow, they sure are different. They must be super happy at their job or (the opposite) miserable in their relationship." We blame their being different on their outside circumstances OR the fact that we haven't seen them in a long time (again, another outside circumstance), but 1) we aren't threatened by it and 2) that eludes that the person hasn't changed, just their circumstances have. Should we see someone on a day-to-day basis and we experience them being very different we either again, blame it on outside circumstances such as work stress, OR we take it personally and try to find a reason as to why they would be different with us. Can you guess where this scenario normally leads? You got it - assumption and miscommunication up the yin yang. Again, if we were to come from the knowing that we are ALL evolving from moment to moment, and additionally, became curious about where the other persons mind is at within these experiences that throw you (as well as where YOUR mind is at while in the experience), I can guarantee you that you will be saving yourself some grief.

All in all, it always comes back to a simple way of being. Do less, DO nothing. Stop overthinking, stop trying to find evidence as to why someone is being different or you are feeling different. If you think about it, isn't your instinct when someone is different with you, to ask why? It's the first thing that pops into your head! "Why did she say that?" or "Why would he do that?" Guess what? That's your wisdom. We've just trained ourselves to not ask because we're scared of the response. But the reality is, when we follow our wisdom and ask with an open heart and mind - that's the moment of growth, of learning more about the other person, of learning more about yourself and most importantly, it's an opportunity for deep connection. It will more than likely feel like a leap of faith at first, and that takes bravery. But with time it will be second nature to you, and your relationship to yourself and others will thrive more than you can ever imagine.

Here's to all of our bravery, dear friend~

See you next week,

Jessie

Life Doesn't Have To Be Difficult

It happens to the best of us, in fact, most of us.

We innocently witness our parents tirelessly work day-in and day-out, maybe they worry about finances, complain about their co-workers, stay friends with people they don't really enjoy or argue with each other to get what they need. From our tiny-person perspective, when you get older, life is hard.

Then you go to school and you begin having to learn subjects that you have no interest in, but you must do well in passing the exams and class in order to move up. You have to be incredibly creative with projects that you could care less about, so every step of the way feels like you're climbing up a snowy mountain, backwards, with no shoes.

Then you get to the end of your school years and you've already got a plethora of evidence that from here on out, you're going to have to 'work' at your success in both your career and relationships. Parents, teachers, peers, SOCIETY tells us that we have to work hard to play hard. Success doesn't come from no where - you're at the beginning of the rest of your life, things will be difficult, but worth it.

Cut to 10-15 years out of school and we wonder why we're miserable. Maybe we're in the career we dreamed of, and we truly love it, but there's still stress and anxiety on a daily basis - what's happening? Oh that's right, this is life. This is what we've been waiting our whole lives to get to. We begin to remember seeing our parents struggle with stress on a daily basis, and we think to ourselves, this is it - this is normal and the way life is as an adult.

I call bullshit.

It's been an amazing thing for me to witness my life from an outside perspective, as well as so many others around me, when it comes to this expectation in life. Myself, clients, friends, peers - we've all innocently fallen pray to believing this story. We're aware that when we're happy and enjoying something, we're more successful, problems are dealt with more effortlessly, conversations can be had without a pit in the bottom of our stomach. And yet, when those experiences happen, we call it luck:

"Oh that conversation with my boss must have gone well because she was in a good mood."

"Wow, how lucky that that date went so flawlessly."

"God, I really had a great day today - it must have been because I didn't have many projects to stress about."

"My kids weren't that difficult today, they must have woken up on the right side of the bed!"

Do you see the pattern here? Do you see yourself in what I'm saying? When things go well, it's ingrained in us to believe it's because of our circumstances, not us - and it's time to flip the perspective. Am I saying that life is supposed to be so simple that we feel like we're easin' on down the road?

Well, to a point, YES! But truly, of course we have to work hard at things, of course there will be long days and moments when you feel like you're being pulled in every direction, but when you're following what is right for YOU on a moment to moment basis - when you stay in touch with how you're FEELING in your experiences in life - then life switches from difficult to full.

The moment I began trusting my instincts throughout the day, experiences I would have previously deemed difficult, scary, or uncomfortable, went smoothly, effortlessly and even better than I could have expected. Of course I'm a human being and I find myself going around and around in my head about challenging moments still, but the moment I recognize that I'm feeling like I'm trying to think of ways to put a square peg through a round hole, I stop what I'm doing and choose to let it go and look the other way. The moment I release it from my grip, I calm down, come back to the moment, and inevitably (often only minutes later) I know exactly what I need to do next - the peaceful state of mind automatically makes space for my wisdom to bubble up and tell me what to do.

So yes, life will continue to be challenging - but what takes it from difficult to full, is when you arrive at those moments, you check in with yourself, you allow yourself the space within to let your knowing bubble up and guide you - and those challenging moments are then the things that bring color, richness, depth and vitality to your days. The lessons and experiences are welcomed and you see them from a different perspective; You become grateful for what you've walked through. And why is this again? Because when you move through life coming from your gut feeling, you're approaching each scenario with a full heart: you've taken care of yourself first by honoring your wisdom. When you go against yourself and just work it through, you're reactive and coming from your head: therefore not taking care of yourself first and feeling depleted and worn out. As my dear friend says, "Why do you think we have to put the oxygen mask on ourselves FIRST on an airplane before we put it on our kids?!" It's true! And a perfect metaphor for life.

Moving forward, to begin settling into this new perspective, when you start to feel upset in your body when you're dealing with a challenging situation, give yourself a moment to make space inside and allow your wisdom to bubble up. Even if the situation looks dire, urgent and in your face - go to the bathroom, walk outside for a moment, close the door to whatever room you're in and play your favorite song on your phone (don't have it downloaded? There's always YouTube, my friend) - you will truly be guided to what is best for you next. What to say, what to do (or what to not say and not do) is always with us, we have the answers every moment of every day, we just have to quiet the noise upstairs to hear what's best for us from the basement.

Have a wonderful week and I'll see you next Monday~

Jessie

You Don't Have To Be 80 To Have Wisdom

I had a complete post written for today's Monday Musings, and my gut was nagging at me throughout the entire process that the timing wasn't right for what I had written.

What won't leave my mind is the powerful movement following Parkland. I am so incredibly proud and in awe of the students and the driving force for change within them, I can't help but reflect on how powerful, strong, and wise they are. What a gift to us all, what a wake up call for so many, to see in real time that you don't have to be 80 to have wisdom. It is truly within us, at all times, no matter your age. It is so incredibly inspiring to witness what tragedy can be turned into.

One of the Three Principles that I refer to here in different ways (without saying it directly) is Universal Mind, or the greater intelligence of all things. I often say this is your wisdom, your gut feeling; I also think of it as the power source as well as the lazy river that holds you up and guides you along in life. Universal Mind is truly the energy woven into the wisdom within and around us. My jaw was on the floor when I witnessed this so strongly watching Emma Gonzalez, a Senior and survivor from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, giving her incredibly powerful speech to a gun control rally. She was a conduit to her wisdom, and oh how powerfully she trusted it. The strength I felt from her grounding, she was as mighty as the oldest Sequoias in the Sierra Nevada mountains. (Click here to watch if you haven't seen it yet).

Isn't it amazing how our most intense experiences, whether tragic or romantic, get us right to our wisdom? There's no time for erroneous thinking - we live in the moment, we say what we feel, we ACT. We DO. Every thought that comes up is straight from our wisdom, and there's nothing but trust and movement.

Let me remind you that it doesn't take a tragedy or the most sweeping love affair to get to this place.

It is there for you all the time, you just have to look in it's direction. When we experience something so intensely, we're often forced to surrender to those experiences, thus being in the moment. Living with an energy and vitality that others feel around you. Watch Emma, yes there is an immense amount of pain, but you can see the moments when she hurts because she has a memory flash across her mind from the tragedy, but she is standing in her wisdom. It takes my breath away and makes me feel so empowered for change, because SHE is so empowered for change.

Finally, I would love to share with you what I posted immediately following the tragedy. At the time I felt hopeless, shocked, in disbelief, and out of words. Then this is what bubbled up to share with the world...

It doesn't matter who you are, where you've come from, or what part of the world you live in - EVERY HUMAN BEING suffers from the stories in their head at some point or another - either consistently or in phases. Whether you believe a tragic incident or person from your past continues to ruin your life on a daily basis, or you're scared you're not being a good parent. From each perspective, the person trapped in their thoughts is riddled with anxiety because those thoughts make life look and feel really scary.
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The difference between you and the person pulling the trigger of a gun, is that they BELIEVE their thought stories to be so real and overwhelming, that getting a gun and killing themselves and others will relieve them from those stories, swiftly and easily. Like removing the stinger after a bee sting.
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If you're a stay at home mom who has gotten so low that you haven't washed your hair in over a week, or if you're an addict using drugs or alcohol to escape the movies you replay in your head.
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That's why I'm here, doing what I do.
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I would love to be able to reach every single person on this planet to make them understand that they don't have to take their thoughts so seriously - that they don't have to continue re-living past experiences that bring pain. Suffering will continue as long as we don't have the education about Thought.
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My point? Mental health is a factor for mass shootings as much as it is a factor in living a peaceful life. But when you have easy access to something that can swiftly end what you believe is the cause to the suffering you're experiencing, using a gun will never be anything less than the solution to the illusory problem
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Let's remove the easy access to the deadly machine that so seductively makes people believe it will quiet or end the thoughts that bring them suffering... because it won't. Ever.

It is amazing what we learn from our experiences in this skin suit, dealing with our human shit (sorry for the language, but 'stuff' just doesn't cut it). If you haven't heard it yet today, know that you are important, loved and so appreciated for who YOU are - YOUR wisdom. We need you for all that you are. Stop letting your thoughts get in the way of us experiencing your greatness. Take a page from Emma - if it wasn't for her, we may not be having the conversation that new regulations are a must, we may all still be feeling like I did right after it happened - hopeless.

If you would like to join me in pledging to vote for gun safety, or need more information on how you can be part of the movement in your area, click here to be taken to Everytown for Gun Safety.

Here's to you, and all of us ~

See you next week,

Jessie

When Money Leads to HUGE Insight...

Oh, money. Or as Pooh would say (which is very apropos)... Oh, bother. 

When was the last time you checked in on your perspective on money? How it makes you feel when you think about it, when you look at your bank account balance, or when you write a check for your rent or mortgage? What does your body tell you? Think about it for a moment now and scan your body. For the first time ever, when I think about it, I feel safe and at peace - and my hubs and I are in the middle of building each of our businesses, so we are not rolling in it... yet ;)

This past month I've had so many lessons, experiences and insights into my old habitual thinking and perspective on money. It became very clear to me that this was a lesson from the Universe and my wisdom that I needed to truly open my heart to, and evaluate on a deeper level.

"A very import'nt Thing To Do" Thanks Pooh... I hear ya buddy

The first AHA came to me about a month ago when I had deposited a check into our bank account. The amount wasn't for much and our balance wasn't where I had hoped it would be, so I felt my brain eagerly waiting for me to get swooped up into my habitual thought storm of all my money fears (they may sound familiar)... "Omg will there be enough for bills? Oh crap, I forgot I have to pay the car registration this month. If we don't get another check til next week, do we tap into savings for food?! Man, this is a struggle, when will all of our hard work pay off?!" etc etc. But guess what? I literally felt this flutter in my brain, an anticipation you might say, but my body felt peaceful. I was able to see all my old moldy thinking at the starting gate ready to race as soon as it heard the starting gun go off. But as if time slowed down for a moment, I looked in it's dark and anxiety-filled direction, and I chose not to let it take me over. Instead, I cued into the peaceful feeling in my body, this warmth in my belly - my wisdom - and again, made the choice to trust the feeling that made me feel good, that which was saying, all was going to be ok.

It was confusing at first, to be honest, because this fear-based relationship to money in my thinking was so normal for me (and is so normal for all of us on a cultural level... "will there be enough?!") that I had lost sight of the fact that all my thoughts around my financial situation were just... THOUGHTS! Considering this is the base to my work and what I talk about all the time, you may be thinking I'm nuts I didn't see it before. But when we use our gift of Thought against us so innocently by making up stories, especially if our culture around us is always reinforcing those stories and giving us evidence that the thoughts are really real, it's difficult to see where we end and our thinking begins... you know what I mean? Like old beliefs that our parents have that they say over and over while we're growing up, so we begin to say and believe the same thing without even thinking about it. We may even defend those beliefs in an argument til we're blue in the face, and realize later, do I actually believe that? And what's ironic is that our parents probably got those beliefs by osmosis as well! Hearing them said over and over from their parents... you see how we can so swiftly sign on to thoughts as if they're our own, when they don't even make sense for US?

A few days after having that experience, I was reading a book and it hit me like a ton of bricks... I woke up to the fact that I had signed on to this belief/routine of fearing our money situation, ALL the time. I'm telling you, this was a bigger lesson than just learning to cope with this period of us growing our businesses, this has been an issue my entire adult life, and it was entirely based on a movie of my own making. I have ALWAYS been ok, and at different periods in my life I've done quite well for myself, but I've never been grounded in that knowing because of the fearful thoughts I was always looking through.

That leads me to my next and final point.

My relationship to money, energetically, has always been fear-based. The moment I get it as a gift it gets stashed away, and every penny earned goes straight to expenses. Sure, when I've had times where I was earning more I would save, I was trained well! But the feeling behind it has always been out of... "in case it runs out, I have this". Again, always seeing money and finances through the lens of my horror movie, that I MADE UP! So what do you think that did to every penny earned, energetically? What was I saying to the Universe if every thought I had around money made me sick, and every time I made money it went right out the window to my expenses? Well, if you put it in terms of relationships, I always say to clients how important it is to take care of yourself FIRST, so your love tank is full to take care of others. For example, when I was at a low point at the agency because I was soul searching, I kept putting off taking dance or yoga classes because I thought I couldn't really afford it, but most importantly, I figured that I would do those things when I had found my soul-pull career and I was generally happier. How backwards is that?! The moment I started taking the classes was the moment I started to feel whole again, insight into my soul-pull started to bubble up, and I didn't even feel the difference in my finances from taking the classes.

Full circle back to the money - with this new insight into how I had lost sight of where I ended and my thoughts around money began, it was very timely that I would then be reminded by a mentor about my soul account. 10% of every single dollar earned, even if it is a gift, goes into this soul account savings, therefore paying myself FIRST. Like a healthy relationship, filling myself up first so I can then energetically welcome more, as well as take care of others (ie: bills). Now you may be asking yourself, how would I pull that off if I just make it work, as it is? Well, I promise you, our relationship to money is just as spiritual as anything else, and it does work out. I had started a soul account over a year and a half ago, and when I had, unexpected flows of income came out of nowhere. The moment I left my job, I relied on that money as a back up for bills and had stopped saving 10% of anything that came in, and guess what happened? No more random gifts from the universe. So guess what I'm back to doing? Yep, saving that 10%, and I'm already seeing the return, let alone the peace of mind coming from my new relationship to my thoughts around money.

There are many teaching moments here, so let me sum them up. The moment I trusted my wisdom over my thoughts (remember when I didn't get caught in the thought storm at the beginning?), I experienced a shift in consciousness with my relationship to money. My choice in that moment naturally, and without any effort, moved me to a new level of thinking and PEACE that gave room for the new insight to bubble through about my old beliefs around money. The moment I had that insight, I was insanely grateful - it brought tears to my eyes, my old story no longer had any emotional charge to it because I saw it for what it was... made up. Then finally, days later, I happened to be guided back to my mentor and reminded of the amazing tool that completely shifts my relationship to money energetically. Do you see how amazing all of this is? And the only real effort it took was to make the choice to not get caught in that original thought storm. After that, the spiritual work was being done to show me a new way of thinking that was true for me and my path. The Universal Intelligence that exists all around us and in us, is ALWAYS working in our favor.

So here's to you dear reader - here's to leaving your old thinking behind when it doesn't serve you anymore. Here's to knowing that when your wisdom comes through and feels right, you can trust it. If you feel like you're hitting your head up against a wall in ANY arena of your life, but you don't know what to do about it because it's just 'who you are', I beg you to take a second look. One thought shift changes everything, and it doesn't have to take a lifetime to do so, just a choice in the matter of a moment.

Sending you so much love on your journey, see you next week ~

Jessie

My Anxiety Named Bruce

Do you ever have too many things going on in too many different directions, where you feel out of control?

Ugh. Me too.

I recently got through a fit of anxiety and in the middle of it, I wished I could transport back in time to Saturday, when there wasn't a care in the world: I was with my husband, in a beautiful landscape two hours out of Los Angeles, watching our best friend compete in a riding competition with her stunner horse love-bug, Roxy (both Roxy & my friend did GREAT by the way).

This is me with Roxy, both without a care in the world (obviously)

That anxiety I mentioned? Well, in case you're new to my posts, our feelings always come from our thinking, and I was in a thought storm of things I needed to accomplish: Two important phone calls needed to be made, a workshop inquiry needed to be tended to, I was needing to write this blog post (which brings on alllll the thoughts about which experience or insight I should share with you all that would make the most sense or the biggest impact on your life); I had thoughts about my friends, my family, and the fact that I needed to schedule the following day (which brings on alll the thoughts about what needs to be done: exercise, pay that bill, pay for that class, post to social media, email that client, outline that workshop, call that friend, GO to said class you have to pre-pay for... oh shit! you haven't listened to that audio you were supposed to listen to FOR that class... ugh, be sure to fit that in too!) and so on...

And then I remembered...

"You're in your thoughts, Jessie. You feel nauseated, anxious, and out of control because you're in your thoughts. Look around, what's happening? Oh, it's a lovely afternoon with your husband, listening to music while he drives us to Target. Jesus. Come back to the moment, Jessie. Aaah, hello again." And then the anxiety dissipated, like magic. Out of all fairness, because I am constantly holding a candle to my life experience so I can put my work to the test and share with you all the results, I was able to see my thinking for what it was VERY quickly. That muscle is quite strong, and I expect it will get stronger every day for the rest of my life. But guess what? So can yours (yup, you heard me right... I am NOT special, to say the least, we're alike in every way).

If you suffer from overthinking which leads to anxiety or panic, hear me out on this (and if you're one of the lucky few that never feels an iota of anxiety, please send me the results to your latest blood test, I don't think you're human). Knowing that our feelings come from our thinking, I had this insight while my anxiety veil was being lifted. Name your anxiety. Literally give your anxiety or panic attacks a name - not the name of someone you hate in life or someone that has treated you badly, but a generic name that brings a smile to your face. Like Bruce or Liam - Ashley or Veronica (I have no emotional attachment to said names, so forgive me if I've listed off someone that's important to you!). It dawned on me that when my thinking is going around in circles so badly that I get anxious, it's not just because of the thoughts I'm thinking, but the thoughts ABOUT the thoughts. I can allow the list of things I have to do tomorrow to show up in my head and move through me, no problem. But it's when I start getting concerned ABOUT that list of things, therefore having thoughts ABOUT my thoughts, that the anxiety begins. SO if I'm beginning to feel the side effects of anxiety before I'm actually aware of the thoughts in my head, I can next time go "Oh hey Bruce, haven't seen you in a while, I don't feel like dealing with you today, thanks!" and I can go on about my day even quicker than going into the thought storm!

Ok so I have something to admit, after I had the insight, I realized I had heard of this technique back while I was in college for Psychology. But it was never as clear to me as it was when it came through my wisdom today. I want you to be able to recognize thoughts for what they are - that they're an energy of your own creation, a story of your own telling - that you can choose to believe, or not. But on your journey to gaining this understanding on a deep level, if it takes you calling out your feelings of anxiety by name so you can recognize it for what it is, as opposed to analyzing each and every thought going through your head (making the anxiety even worse!), then I say do it. For me, all I have to do now is say "Ugh, I'm having anxious thoughts," I check in with the reality of what's going on around me, and it passes. You will get there too. In the end, all it is is choosing to stop believing what's going on in your head as truth. But dammit, life can be hard. I understand. So let's grab a tool box and fill it up together.

Have a wonderful week and I'll see you on the next go-around ~

XO,

Jessie

Habitual Thinking and Your (My) Love Life...

Stop believing the lies you tell yourself.

That is what bubbled up for me last night as I was falling asleep. A very appropriate statement considering my husband, Mike, and I had had an incredible heart-to-heart earlier in the day. It's an amazing thing to be with someone for over 14 years. We are each others best friend, we read each others mind, we finish each others sentences, life is just better with the other in it. However, when you're with someone for so long - and this goes for any length of relationship, including the relationship to yourself - it is so easy to fall into habitual thinking, consistent thoughts that we believe are true about ourselves or the world around us, without even realizing it.

Babies... 14 years ago.

Here's the thing, we are changing every moment of every day. We look at past experiences, periods of time where we really had to work through a situation and we came out the other side a different person, as the defining moments of our lives that 'changed' us. But considering the fact that we are experiencing life through the lens of our thinking on a moment-to-moment basis - even if we have a 9-5 job, or the same routine every day - it is impossible to be having the exact same experience, because our thoughts are always changing, all day, every day. Without being conscious of it, what gets frustrating to us (and makes us feel 'stuck') is the fact that we are in this constant evolution, yet certain thoughts have turned to beliefs about ourselves that go around and around in our head, and they don't fit with who we are anymore - yet they're still there, like a tumor. And similar to a tumor, the habitual thoughts live and breathe off of our life experience. We find things outside of ourselves that we consider to be totally real evidence for the habitual thought/belief/tumor and we say "AHA! I knew it! SEE!" and there it grows, stronger and stronger, becoming part of who we think we are.

But here's an interesting concept to think about - look around you wherever you are right now and take in what you see.  Ok now I want you to think of the color red - got a picture of the color red in your mind? Now look around where you are again and look for the color red. Isn't that amazing? Before, you probably didn't see red things, but now you do. It's because you're always seeing life through the lens of your thinking - if you have a habitual thought about yourself or something, you will ALWAYS find evidence in life to support that thought.

I digress. Need an example? Here's where Mike and I's convo comes back in. A little backstory: Over the last several years, I have had some incredible stress - we all do - but looking back, it was stress coming from my habitual thinking, even though I thought it was my environment making me fall apart. As a professional dancer, I would go in thought circles (habitual thoughts!) around my career: "When am I going to 'make' it? Will I ever be able to fully support myself just from my dancing? Am I good enough?" (<-- That last one is a BIGGY, and a very common habitual thought we all have that unfortunately becomes a belief about ourselves). Then while I was working at the agency, although any career on the business side of entertainment is truly non-stop, I would get caught up in: "I never have time for myself; I'm not going to be able to truly take care of myself til I'm in another career." All of these thoughts felt so real in the moment, especially because they would ruminate underneath the thousands of other thoughts I would think all day every day, so I would consistently gather moments of evidence to prove them. Every phone call, every email from a casting director after hours. "SEE! I can't do anything for myself because it's non-stop!" Therefore bringing a truck load of stress, because our feelings come from our thinking!

Back to Mike and I - due to said stress over the last several years, I had found myself feeling like I had to work at our love life. God bless my husband for being so understanding (and never giving up at knocking at my door after being rejected more times than I will EVER admit), but the other day before we talked, I had this huge realization that I had a habitual thought that I had become completely unconscious of: That I was always too stressed, and there were too many other things that needed to be handled first, before I could relax and be intimate.

HOLY CRAP!

I have a completely different life now, I am 100% in line with my purpose for the first time ever, bringing me so much happiness. The understanding of how my mind works has brought me so much peace, there's absolutely no need to be defaulting to this "I'm too stressed" thinking when I, or Mike, get the intimate itch! But here was this unearthed habitual thought that made me still react the way I would in my old way of being. Now, if I were to have the understanding I do now back then, this "I'm too stressed to let my guard down" would not have become an issue because I would know it's just a thought (a LIE!) I was believing to be true. But I didn't know then. I did the best I could with the state of mind I was in at the time, and frankly, ANY type of self-care and self-love came last because all of my stressful thought-lies (or what I like to call, thought TURDS) were what I believed over what my wisdom was urging me to act on. I am SO grateful this insight came through me. The dissonance between this part of my life with my husband and how I feel on a daily basis finally woke me up!

My point is this - I wanted to share this story for two reasons: One, if you're in a relationship and you feel your love life is on a boat out in the middle of the Pacific, as opposed to alive and well in your relationship, check in with your thinking. Did some past experience get in between you and your partner, and the thoughts around that experience ended up putting a giant wedge between you? And two, whether you're in a relationship or not, notice if there are any moments throughout your day where you don't feel right, or you become upset out of nowhere. Is it old, moldy, habitual thinking? Is it a belief about yourself that isn't true? Is it a lie that you've told yourself over and over that has become so real to you that you'd swear it's truth? How can you tell what is old habitual thinking? Any time you feel terrible - sad, lonely, upset, anxious - whatever you're believing in your head isn't true, plain and simple. Our natural state is at ease, healthy, and content - so any time your thoughts are at odds with your wisdom, your body physically reacts. It's the most amazing alert system that I wish I would've known about sooner, and why I'm here telling you, so you can live a more peaceful life.

Here's to you ~ See you next week,

Jessie

The Feeling Behind Unity

Pride, overwhelming love, HOPE, justice, appreciation, contentment, JOY, awe, adoration, admiration, sadness, introspection, connecting devotion...

It is so hard to describe a feeling sometimes, especially when an experience is so overwhelming to my mind that all I can do is cry. That is exactly how I felt this past Saturday joining thousands of humans for the Women's March in Los Angeles, and the above adjectives are the best I can do right now (and it's been over 24 hours). The March was the second in it's history, but the first that I attended, and with every vulnerable bone in my body, I admit to you that the reason I didn't go to the first one was because...

I was scared.

I had been SO upset about the Presidential election results, I was so depleted and at a loss for words for the lack of emotional intelligence in my country, I felt blindsided. Politics aside, how could someone with no leadership skills, no kindness in his heart, no respect for women, and no experience (to say the least), be elected into the most 'honorable' seat in the White House? I was sick to my stomach and sobbed among coworkers - it was the first time in all my years that an election would shake me to my core.

Then the light came. The first ever Women's March was announced and I felt rejuvenated. I would be there, at my first ever protest, to stand with women from every cultural background, socioeconomic status, life experience and age to send the message that we are no longer standing down and absorbing the belief that we are not equal and voiceless. The day grew near, conversations were bubbling all around me with feelings of excitement, and all I was feeling was scared. What was happening? When the March was first announced I felt such an immense amount of hope and like I could be part of the solution, a part of history, a part of this huge cultural shift that I was bearing witness to...

My thoughts.

I look back now and as the day of the March was getting closer and closer, I was allowing and believing my thoughts over my wisdom. What if we all got attacked? What if I became claustrophobic? What if I didn't get down there early enough to meet up with people I knew? And so on and so on. These thoughts, when typed out, look so meager and easily dismissible, but especially that first one looked so real to me that it brought feelings of anxiety and stress that froze me. The day came and I just. couldn't. do it. My alarm went off and I snoozed it, but I was racked with sweat and an upset stomach because I was going against my wisdom. By the time I got up, I'm sure I still could've made it (it was still morning, of course), but my thoughts won yet again: Telling me there's no way I could get down there in time or even consider finding someone I knew (because god-forbid I do this on my own!), so I may as well stay home. I don't know about you, but what I've realized from my past behavior is that if I go against my wisdom, I end up wasting a significant amount of time (in this case, an entire day) ruminating in my head - creating thoughts upon thoughts - as to why I made the decision I did. Justifying (again, just thoughts). On this day I eventually told myself that it was in my best interest, and my own form of protest, to work on developing my program, What Moves You. What better way to show my solidarity then to continue to flush out my work that would eventually be teaching people to follow their wisdom and take their thoughts less seriously - my way of helping humanity to never make such an emotionally detached decision ever again. Well, here's what's so ironic - that's a pretty beautiful conclusion I had come to, but I couldn't even type a single word that day or research a single book, because I was going against my wisdom, and taking my scared thoughts VERY seriously.

Cut to a year later, just this past weekend, and there was a quick moment I didn't think I would be able to attend. My husband and I had plans to go out of town, but we didn't have to leave til noon since he had to work (the old thoughts were coming up a little bit too, but these days I make a concerted effort to trust my wisdom, so I let it go to see what would come up). Sure enough, the spiritual work was already in motion because I happened to reach out to my best friend about a completely different subject, and she wound up telling me she was getting downtown by 7am for the March. There it was, I felt so in line with my wisdom that there was no denying it. The next morning I shot out of bed and got myself out the door with my "THE FUTURE IS FEMALE" shirt on (gifted to me by the same friend, no surprise), and I was giddy like a 7 year old on Christmas morning. As I've been witnessing, when I continue to follow my wisdom on a moment-to-moment basis, the rest of the day unfolds in my favor. And of course on this day, it went seamlessly and beautifully, so much so that I felt short of breath from the love expounding from my body. As I walked the 15 blocks from my car to my friends, the images I witnessed made me cry (remember the experiences that are so overwhelming to my mind that make me cry? Now we're caught up...)

"It's better to show up, than to give up" - Bernie Sanders

They tried to bury us - They didn't know we were seeds

Feminism is not a female cause. It is a human one.

Twitter Rants Unite More People!

Above all else, I hope you see yourself in this story. I hope you can begin to recognize the moments in your life when your wisdom is moving you in a direction and your thoughts are the only thing stopping you. That you feel empowered enough from learning more about your thinking, that you choose your knowing. What I felt on Saturday was out of body, and that bliss is part of my life on a daily basis these days. I can only imagine what will happen as each day passes and the voice of my wisdom becomes louder than the voice of my thoughts, but know that this is absolutely possible for you too. What Moves You?

With all my love.

See you next week,

Jessie

Wisdom & A Roller Skating Rink

When was the last time you followed your wisdom, your gut instinct, to do something you really wanted to do? Something fun, out of the box, and completely for yourself? It's tricky, I know, because often times we get the pull to do the new adventure, then our made up thoughts come in the picture and clobber it with 'logic' as to why you shouldn't do it: You don't have time, you don't have the money, you've never been there so what if something happens to you? Maybe you've never done it before so you make pictures of what your experience may be like, what you'll look like or what others will think.

Oy vey - thoughts are exhausting, am I right?!

Well let me tell you, more than just the immense amount of joy you'll be met with from following through with what your wisdom is nudging you to do, is the magic that you'll witness all around you - the beauty of life and how it unfolds, all because you followed your soul-pull.

I recently followed through on a soul-pull to go roller skating, and I'm telling you now, what I experienced ended up being far beyond the joy I could've ever imagined (though I had a feeling it was going to be pretty darn magical). I grew up roller skating, so my nostalgia was through the roof. From the woman at the admission window (who had blatantly been working there for decades) inquiring if I'd be paying 8 bucks for a skate ticket or 13 for a skate and rent - said with her perfectly frosty pink lipstick and a 'honey' with every interaction. To the 80's carpet, the disco balls and the smell of nacho cheese and feet... I was in heaven. I got there right at the beginning of Open Skate and the throwback tunes were already bumping and skaters of every age, cultural background and skill level were zooming, falling and timidly holding on to the carpet wall, simultaneously and blissfully - let me repeat, I was in heaven.

Moonlight Rollerway, Glendale, CA - aka: HEAVEN

As I'm sure you can gather, my joy was through the roof. I went by myself and couldn't have had a better time bearing witness to everything going on around me: the sweet interactions between lovebirds, the care of a parent coaching their little one, the bliss of a senior skating circles around us all; And the gift of the quiet nature of skating itself, the space it allowed for me to reflect on my state of mind as I watched everything unfold around me.

So where's the lesson in it all, you ask? Well, I had a few bubble up for me. To begin, it is truly remarkable that when I listen inward, when I honor my wisdom and follow through with what it tells me, how any concerning thoughts about life simply melt away. When I am overwhelmed with joy and filled to the brim with that loving feeling, any concerning thinking that may normally plague me is either absent, or it moves through my head before I even have time to take it seriously. I can observe those thoughts passing through my head like the ticker tape at the bottom of a news cast, as opposed to a headline at the top of a newspaper. Additionally, when I'm in this joyful space, I am naturally and effortlessly brought to the moment. I become so open-hearted that I feel as though someone has cracked my chest open to reveal a glowing heart, and the feeling lasts as long as I choose to stay in it. And as you can imagine, when I'm not in my own world of thought, when I'm present and open-hearted, every interaction with the world around me is smooth, kind, understanding, effortless and even humorous. Can you think of a time, activity or vacation that makes you feel this way? How does remembering that thought make you feel? Isn't it amazing that just thinking about that wonderful experience brings you peace? And you're still sitting in the same spot, nothing has changed but your thinking (I'm looking back at you with a wink).

Speaking of life being more humorous when you're full of joy, I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear watching the kiddos in the rink. It was so wonderful to watch them fall over and over and over, and continue to get back up on their feet without a thought. Not only were they determined to be good at skating, but they effortlessly threw themselves into tricks and new moves without any hesitation. The ultimate lesson in following my wisdom being played out right in front of me.

As we age, we create so much thought around our experience - for example if we fall from skating, we create thinking that we're not good at it, so we stop. And not only do we stop, but we make up a story around that fall that lasts with us for the rest of our lives and affects decision making as long as we believe it. From that point forward, we will no longer skate because we 'always' fall - even though it was a one time experience. But who knows, maybe you had some fearful thinking in your head before you started skating that you may fall and embarrass yourself, so the fall is now evidence for that made up thinking (and heck, maybe you fell because of a tiny rock on the ground, or you turned around too quickly, or were human and lost your balance for a split second!) Isn't that incredible? It's amazing how many of us have created an entire world of thought around one experience, and that lasting thought (or thoughts) is then a cemented belief about ourselves, or that experience, for the rest of our lives. When really, it's a news headline thought that we've believed, and it's stopping us short from having new wonderful experiences because we have those lenses on anytime a similar opportunity comes up for us.

You see, as you may be beginning to understand, we live and experience our thinking, not the world around us. The more we can understand that, the more we aren't plagued by thoughts - we see them for what they are, let them pass, and come back to the moment. Life becomes more rich, full of color, peaceful and oh-so-enjoyable. Is there an activity or experience in life that you would like to have but the only thing that stops you is your thoughts about it? Are those thoughts true? Are they really true? How would you feel, and what would you do, if you didn't have those thoughts? It seems simple, because it is! With different thinking, we have different experiences of life.

Finally, with today being Martin Luther King, Jr. day, it feels fitting to share my final insight that brought tears to my eyes as I skated around this ol' skating rink. Humans want to connect. We want to help each other. We want to lift each other up when we fall, literally and figuratively. Without our prejudices, our judgements, our divisive and dividing thinking, we have the same goals of living a love and joy filled life - that's it, plain and simple. And guess what, if you take away that individual thinking, the individual reality we each live in, what are we? The same. We may be in different skin suits, but on the inside, we are totally and utterly the same. We are One. Seeing all of the people that came together to enjoy some skating on a simple Friday afternoon: From the two East Indian girls clinging to the walls and watching everyone take turns to give them pointers on how to skate better, to the African American mom helping her daughter skate and having every child gravitate towards her for help because her energy was SO welcoming. From the Caucasian senior citizen having a lovely lone skate willing to help anyone struggling around him, to the Armenian teenage couple that had the biggest smiles on their faces after he gave them pointers. Witnessing a new friendship evolve between the Asian group of twenty-somethings and the Mexican group of twenty-somethings in the matter of two hours. Every falling child and adult was lent a hand by another in the rink, every human being having the time of their lives and becoming fast friends with each other,  I couldn't have been more proud to be witness to the love that is real between us all. What a gift.

So with all of this, dear readers, I hope you begin to honor yourself and follow what your wisdom tells you when you listen inward. And for the love of god, take your made up thoughts a little less seriously! Doing so will begin to effortlessly shift your energy and your experience of life, and therefore the world around you, as we are living a life from the inside-out, always.

See you again next week.

XO,

Jessie

The AHA's from a Cold in Paradise

Happy 2018 dear ones! How have you been?! I hope your Christmas and New Year were exactly what you needed, whether with family and connection, or space from it all, I hope you got some much deserved rest & relaxation.

To jump right in, have you ever been on vacation, finally at your destination that you've been looking forward to for months, and you get SICK?! If not, I'm sure you can relate in other ways such as getting sick the day of an event you've been looking forward to, or when a friend comes to town, or on your first day of a new job, etc. Oh, it's the worst. Like, really body? You couldn't have planned this a little better? Well it happened to me on a stunning trip to Mexico over the New Year, and frankly, I was a little taken aback by my peaceful state throughout the experience as well as the AHA's I was able to have because of my state of mind. Read on...

It's the beginning of the trip when my husband Mike and I have been notified that a majority of the family we're seeing once we arrive to Isla Mujeres (an island that is a 20 minute ferry ride from Cancun) have been dropping like flies (no pun intended) from a bug that was going around. No problem, we've got this! Mike has instilled in me that the moment you begin to think sick, you get sick, so we're already in the mindset of, if we get it, we'll fight it! ("I'm starting to get sick" vs. "I'm fighting something" is a great way to re-frame an illness into a positive action that keeps you more relaxed, the mind holds a majority of our healing power!) A few days go by and there it is... that little tickle/itch thing in the base of my throat that everyone was talking about. Of course my initial thought/reaction the morning I woke up with it was, 'Oh, damn it' - but what do I always say? Our feelings come from our thoughts, so I quickly moved to the positive and was grateful my throat wasn't sore, that my energy was up and I was looking at the most stunning views I could ever imagine. Behold... (and mind you, NO FILTER!)

As the days passed, the symptoms got worse, but I stayed in the "fighting something" mindset as opposed to succumbing to the sickness. Every time I was asked how I was doing I responded with different versions of "I'm definitely fighting something, but I'm good!" And truly, with the knowledge that I am always ok, my suffering would only be coming from my thinking around what I was fighting (not the sickness itself), I was left in a more relaxed and peaceful state of mind. Allowing me to be flexible with what my body needed, the plans ahead in the day and truly leaving me in a good mood!

So where am I going with this?

When we're ill, it's difficult not to acquiesce to all of our thinking around how shitty we feel, because the truth is, we feel shitty! It sucks to not be able to breathe without a gurgle in your chest or to have to pass on the Mezcal because your higher self knows it'll make you feel even shittier. But guess what? Without the thinking around our sickness - the analyzing every change in symptom, the thoughts around how we can't have a good time any more or how the vacation is ruined, or how we can't have a drink without knowing it isn't good for us (but by golly you're gonna kick your heels up in some capacity! Note: I obviously didn't always pass on the Mezcal) - without those thoughts, you are simply back in the moment, able to still enjoy what is in front of you - you just happen to also be fighting something.

Now, let me be clear, I am not saying that if you feel like crap and need to lay down and feel all the feels, that you should instead "think positive" and keep it movin. Heck no. Creating any more thinking between you and the moment you're in is going to create more stress in the body, ESPECIALLY forced positive thinking, when you're not feeling very positive. But the more you can take your thoughts less seriously in general, allowing them to pass like clouds in the sky, a more positive state of mind (aka: Mood) naturally bubbles up, giving you a more positive feeling.

This is the freedom from our thinking I always talk about, and this is just one instance in a plethora of many that we're met with EVERY moment of every day. Does it take work? Hell yes, especially when you're new to the understanding. Does it get easier? Yes, however, we're met with new experiences that challenge our thoughts all the time that can catch us off guard. Even after making it through the vacation in a pretty peaceful state of mind around my sickness, I was tested again on our flight back to Los Angeles. Cold medicine was sold out everywhere we went, so I flew sans drugs, which would've helped dry me up (ps... I flew with a scarf wrapped around my face in hopes to save other flyers from catching my snot monster). So when we were descending into Los Angeles, in the matter of one moment, I was in incredible pain in my face, even my teeth were zinging from my nerves going crazy from the congestion. After a quick trip down negative thought lane, I checked myself. I decided to focus on my breathing, visualizing sipping air into my belly slow and steady and being grateful that we were nearly home. And guess what happened? The pain didn't stop of course, but because my thoughts were peaceful, my body became relaxed and I was brought back to the moment. I looked out the window and saw this insanely beautiful moment... (again, no filter)

My beautiful city, all lit up, and La Bella Luna shining right in my face. I couldn't have asked for a more breath-taking experience to support me coming back to a peaceful state of mind.

So dear readers, I hope this story gets you a little deeper into the understanding that you are living from the inside-out, always - even when something like a cold is so seductively trying to convince you otherwise - it is your choice, in every moment of every day, to think something different. And in this case, not only did I benefit from being on top of my thinking because I was able to still enjoy my vacation, but my sickness didn't get too bad since I stayed relaxed (had I succumbed to my upset thinking, you can only imagine how sick I could have gotten had I sent myself into a stressful state!), and my husband and friends still enjoyed being around me since I wasn't in a miserable mood!

Happiest of Mondays to you all and I look forward to seeing you again next week. As always, be sure to leave me a comment or get in touch should you have any questions!

XO,

Jessie

Follow your gut...

I know you've heard it before... "Follow your gut" or "What does your gut say?" But I'm here to encourage you from experience, after continuing to walk my talk, to truly DO IT... then sit back and watch the magic unfold.

In what I teach, following your gut is also referred to as following your wisdom. Your wisdom being that knowing that bubbles up one millisecond before your thoughts clobber the hell out of it. It is an innate GPS system built into us. It has all the answers on what is best for us on a moment to moment basis, no matter the situation we're in. From our safety and well-being to career choices; From relationship matters to what we're going to eat for dinner to our health, we know what is best for us, at all times. It exists within ALL of us, even if you feel like yours took a hike sometime ago.

So if we have the answers all of the time, then why don't we listen to and trust ourselves? Why are we constantly believing our negative thoughts over our wisdom, and justifying those thoughts as 'logic'? Well, the following things I know for sure: Fear of failure and making the wrong decision are definitely strong-willed thoughts that bring up some undeniably yucky feelings (reminder: our feelings are always coming from our thinking, not the world around us. Take a peak at last weeks post >HERE< for more on that). And when we have a whole mess of negative thinking around something that brings up awful feelings, it makes the negative thinking seem really real about the world around us. Another reason? Sometimes our wisdom tells us exactly what we DON'T want to hear, even though it is truly what is best for us. Need an example? Read on...

I started developing What Moves You while I was working at a top talent agency in Los Angeles. However, when I began working there, I had the intent of it being the career I would retire from - What Moves You was no where in sight. After about 8 months at the agency, I slammed into an emotional wall and had no idea what hit me. I continued to go through the motions of life til one evening I caught an episode of Oprah interviewing Jack Canfield (Author of The Success Principles and the Chicken Soup for the Soul series), and he said something that made me feel like he was talking directly to me...

"You don't want to get to the top of the ladder only to find out you had it leaning up against the wrong wall."

OMG... MIC DROP...

What happened next? The ultimate soul search. See, I had been so caught up in my thinking around how I couldn't believe that I, Jessie, the girl who always had a plan, felt lost. How could that be? That's not who I am! (Ps - that's just a thought). I had a lot of noise to sift through to get to my wisdom, even though it was always there. The first step was to read The Success Principles, which had fabulous information to help chip away at what my soul-pull was. Then one day, like magic, my noisy thinking had subsided while I was in the shower and the answer bubbled up from my wisdom... "Build a program that helps people get out of their thoughts and trusting their wisdom."

HALLE-FRIGGIN-LUJAH!!

But guess what happened next? ALL the thoughts.. "OMG if I have to develop something, how long will THAT take? Geez, that seems like I'm just wasting time! Wait, and what if I do all of that and it doesn't even work out? How would I even become successful with something like this?" Holy toledo did my thoughts go crazy. But do you know what was wonderful about that specific experience? Even though my wisdom had come through with something that wasn't a quick fix to my career stressors (it would have been so much easier to get a job that I could apply for with no real effort beyond editing my resume), it gave me the answer to my life's purpose, my soul-pull. Even though it wasn't an easy path, it was the right one.

Of course, I am human, and choosing to stay in the high-stress job for what ended up being nearly two more years while I developed What Moves You, felt like a giant mountain to climb sometimes. But every time my thoughts told me to get another job while I worked on my program because it was all getting to be too much, I would ask myself "Is it time to leave?" and every time my wisdom came back with, "NO." And do you know why? Working there evolved into my greatest education, even beyond my paid-for college degrees. It gave me the opportunity to put my work into motion. What do I constantly say? We live from the inside-out from our own, personal, thought-generated reality. And with this high-stress job in entertainment where everything looked like it was affecting me from the outside-in, I can tell you now after putting in the work of monitoring where my thoughts were all day, every day - we are most definitely, undeniably, living from the inside-out.

Why this story for today's Monday Musings? It felt completely right to share, heading into the new year. I want you all to begin following your wisdom, one small step at a time. What do you want to eat for lunch? Follow it. You've received an email from a co-worker that's a little passive aggressive and your wisdom is telling you to pick up the phone instead of email back? DO IT, you'll be shocked at how it works out for you. Yes, it may be uncomfortable sometimes, but I'm telling you, life unfolds for you in the most positive of ways when you follow it. Like I say ALL THE TIME, you are human, I am human; It's difficult to get in touch with what's right for us if we have a mess of thinking making a crap-ton of noise in our heads. But we will all be getting deeper and more in touch with our wisdom, learning to honor and trust it more consistently as we grow, every moment, of every day, for the rest of our lives. I want you to feel what it feels like, I want you to see the magic that happens when you do so. You will become more open-hearted, you'll create more connection with others, you'll begin falling in love with life, all over again.

Here's to you, and all of your wisdom.

XO,

Jessie

The Flight of Thought

I would like for you to truly ponder this next statement: Your feelings, at all times & no matter the circumstances, are being brought to life from your thoughts - not the world around you. You are feeling your thinking. Period. (What?! YES TRULY!) I had a couple of moments on a flight not too long ago that will help to explain.

The first was while I was waiting for the restroom in the galley-way in the back of the plane. I put my face right up to the tiny window that's in the door of the plane, just because I was curious and loving the view. Then a quick flash of panic went through my entire body from the thoughts of being thousands of feet up in the air with no ground beneath my feet. Woo! Because we feel our thinking, I absolutely could have allowed my fearful thoughts to turn into a thought storm, resulting in an anxiety attack. But instead, I got in the drivers seat of my thinking and moved those thoughts right through by not taking them seriously. I literally said to myself "NOPE!" - turned around, and started thinking of other things, keeping myself in a more peaceful & relaxed state.

You see where I'm going with this?

The second experience I'm sure you can relate to. As we started to descend, the plane was beginning to do those huge drops out of nowhere from turbulence - the kind where your stomach goes right into your throat. A baby starting crying, the gal next to me was white knuckling the arm rests, people were hollering every time we dropped. My hands started to get clammy, I was jumpy and totally on edge, then I realized I was creating stressful thinking around what was happening: "Are we going to crash? OH god, even the stewardesses look stressed, that must mean this is REALLY bad." But remember, we feel our thinking, not the world around us. So what did I do? You got it - I got in the drivers seat and started to say over and over in my head "We are safe and will be landing safely." I immediately felt peace wash over me and I honestly became less aware of the turbulence I'm sure we were still experiencing. Of course we landed safely, and instead of being all wound up and tense in my body, which I surely would have had to recover from had I not gotten in the drivers seat of my thoughts, I was in a peaceful state of mind.

Out of curiosity, did you notice any tension in your body while reading about my flight? If so, isn't it incredible to recognize how you didn't even have to be there, but just by making the pictures in your head you created a similar reaction in your body? That's my point! Life is never happening TO you - you are creating life through the lens of your thinking, inside-out, always.

Listen, you're human and it is definitely easier said then done to catch your thoughts in the middle of an experience, I totally understand. But imagine what life would look and feel like, imagine how much less stress your body would go through, if you made the effort to CHOOSE to stay in the moment and not allow your thoughts to take over.  Especially when we feel out of control of a situation, the thoughts we create lead to such dis-ease (which is often, if we're not trusting our wisdom... that's a whole other conversation!) We have the option to choose one thought over another, it's the free will you're empowered with as the thinker of your thoughts!

YES! Dance break!

Lauren Hurt Photography

For the rest of the week ahead, challenge yourself to check in with your thinking when you notice different feelings or emotions in your body. Whether you feel sadness, worry, anxiety, stress or tension; Or any physical side effects of tightness in the chest or breath, clammy hands, headache, or body aches & pains. I guarantee you that you'll notice you're swirling in your thinking about things that are outside of the present moment you're in. Then get in the drivers seat and say to yourself out loud "I'm not there yet" (if you're concerned about the future), "I don't want to watch that movie again" (if you're playing a scenario or experience from the past over and over), "There's nothing to be done with that right now" or my favorite, "PAUSE." Take a deep breath, take a look at your surroundings, and come back to the present moment. The nature and energy of Thought wants to move through your head, so doing these things will naturally begin to auto-correct your state of mind to it's neutral state, which is relaxed and peaceful (mind-blowing, right?!). The short of the long of it, as Sydney Banks says...

"The life of a thought is only as long as you think it."

Want to hear something pretty spectacular? After having read this article and scratching the surface of understanding the nature of Thought and where your experience of life is coming from, you'll find yourself more peaceful right away. What's even more wonderful? You'll begin to have more compassion for others, as well as yourself,  because you know they're dealing with their own reality of life through their thinking, just like you are.

Pretty amazing stuff, see you again next week.

XO,

Jessie

Staying in the Swill

Have you ever experienced staying in the swill? By staying in the swill I'm referring to that heavy feeling that you put on like a cloak day-in and day-out because you're trapped in your thoughts of worry, fear, or doubt. You try really hard to focus on things you're grateful for, or opportunities that lie ahead, but you generally end up back at square one, feeling like crap. You maybe even have moments that give you hope for a better feeling because you laugh at something, or a wonderful idea or memory passes through your mind; But the moment those positive thoughts cross through and they bring you peaceful feelings, the swill thoughts (or what I like to call, thought turds) pop into your head like the school marm who catches you laughing during a test...

"Don't you dare begin to feel at peace and relaxed, you have to focus on all the things you're worried about!"

Well let me tell you, I have absolutely been experiencing this state of mind for the last week, and am feeling like I've finally emerged through the other side of the fire - a little scathed, and A LOT relieved...

Lauren Hurt Photography

So what in the world happened? Well, I had an experience over the holiday break that was pretty traumatic and put me in an immediate low mood. Like, permanent nausea, rash on my face (literally) type of low mood (my skin likes to make sure I know where I'm at in my state of mind, isn't that nice?!) And as I remind clients and students in my What Moves You community, when you're in a low mood, it can be difficult to see life clearly, to hear the positive intention behind what others are saying, or to even register the positive experiences in life that are happening all around you.

Why is that? It's quite simple actually. We are experiencing life through the lens of our thinking, every moment of every day. Even though it is quite seductive to think that life is happening TO us, or our feelings are coming from what's going on around us, we are in actuality ALWAYS having an inside-out experience; Looking at life THROUGH the lens of the thoughts swirling around in our heads, each and every moment. Being that I had had a traumatic experience, there were multiple things going on inside me:

• For days following I was trying to make sense of what happened. Why did it happen? How could things have gone differently? And so on...
• I was constantly trying to make sense of an upsetting situation that was over and I obviously couldn't time travel to change it, so I was in a perpetual funk. A low mood. A sadness.
• Due to the funky low mood, even if I wasn't thinking about the specific experience, I was seeing life through those lenses - like a pair of glasses full of fingerprints and smudges. I couldn't see clearly; My state of mind was shot. So every little aspect of my life that I had a stressful thought about was amplified ten-fold.

How was I able to overcome the thoughts and therefore the funk? Number one, I had to remind myself that I'm human and it is OK to get swooped up into the negative thought storms once in a while; Surrendering to that understanding in itself began to auto-correct my state of mind. I began to appreciate and love myself for having had the experience, and that it was truly over and in the past. Every time I thought about it, I was making the choice to hit replay on that movie, so I finally made the choice to stop hitting replay.

You see, our feelings come from our thinking, not from the world around us. So every time I was hitting replay on that movie, even if just for a moment, stress and anxiety riddled my body. From there, if I thought about normal life stressors about my life or work while in that feeling, those stressors felt so incredibly real and huge and heavy, they seemed out of my control and I would freeze. I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. Mind you, if I were in a positive state of mind, those life stressors would of course still cross my mind, but I would easily be able to let them pass or they would motivate me into action, therefore moving them through my mind without even trying.

Bottom line is, we are the thinkers. No one is climbing inside of our heads crafting our thoughts for us. We have a huge bandwidth for a massive variety of thoughts that we think all day, every day: the construct of who we are (I'm introverted, I'm funny, I'm sarcastic), judgements of ourselves or others, memories & experiences; To what we plan to eat later in the day or what pen we choose to pick up to write with, and EVERYTHING in between. We have so many thoughts crossing our minds at the speed of light, that we often can't keep up. But the more we have an understanding that we are the generators of all those thoughts, and we have the free will to pick and choose what to pay attention to OR we can just observe them flowing through our mind like a ticker tape at the bottom of our television screens, the more at peace we are. As Elsie Spittle so wisely said in her book, Nuggets of Wisdom...

Remember that the nature of Thought is pure energy, so it flows. Use thought wisely - let negative thoughts flow through your mind. Then your natural well-being will rise to the surface.

So dear reader, I hope this shines a little light on where your life experience is coming from, as well as some peace of mind that thought storms and low moods happen to each and every one of us. Having the understanding of where my feelings and funk were coming from, sure helped me to trust that I didn't have to be afraid of what was happening to me, and I knew it would all inevitably pass. But darn it, life can be hard, it will throw you punches, and it's OK to have to work it through sometimes.

See you again next week, XO ~   

Jessie