In this week’s interview on the podcast with Vivian Hall, a riding instructor and horse trainer extraordinaire, she shared some incredible insights into life by way of stories about her experiences in her day to day with teaching horses and humans on horses. Something that is so straight forward and practical in terms of horseback riding is that when the rider tenses up because they’re in their head about what to do next, the horse reacts by getting tense and not cooperating very well. Then as the horse stops cooperating, the rider gets more stressed and eager for the horse to cooperate with what they want it to do, trying to force it into submission if you will... and guess what the horse does in response? It gets more defiant because it doesn’t trust the rider and more often than not, won’t do what it’s being forced to do.
Holy cow, have you ever heard a more clear metaphor about us and LIFE? Read on for more clarity…
So often when we want something to get done or when we want something to happen for us, what do we do? Well, if you’re anything like me, my knee jerk reaction is to begin thinking about it, potentially productive thinking at first, but more often than not, I will catch myself fly past the productive stage and spiral right into the stressful stage of overthinking every little detail that I can muster in the moment. Every time I catch myself I go, ‘Ah! I’m doing it again!’ and as best I can, I pull back on the assessing because I know that it isn’t helpful for me or the thing I’d like to have happen. Why is that? Well, just like the horse reacting to the rider, when we get tight inside and full of pressure and stress, just like the horse, life pulls back and waits for you to relax. Does life have a personality? Of course not, I’m just running with the metaphor here. But there are two practical things at work.
One, when we are full of stressful thinking, we have no room for new ideas. Our deeper intelligence, our common sense, can’t be heard. Again, if our brain is already full, there’s no room for fresh thought that is coming from our deeper intelligence, our internal GPS system that is guiding us every step of the way. The creativity we need to navigate new experiences is no longer at our finger tips because we’re feeling rigid and stressed. Number two, when we’re consumed with energy going to our brain, it’s like a stop gap for attracting things into our world. You see, we are made of pure energy - you don’t have to think to yourself heart beat heart beat all day long in order for it to function, do you? Of course not, because there is a life energy that is pulsing through you making things work - that energy is the exact same energy of all things - it is the aliveness that you can feel in the air, in nature, in animals. It’s science! Denying our spiritual and energetic connection to the energy all around us is like denying gravity. Whether you choose to believe it or not, it’s still present. The connection and cycle of possibility between us and life is literally the same as seeing the cycle of behavior between a tense rider and a tense horse. The cycle of tension, rigidity and stress is stopped when we relax.
Vivian shared this great saying that she tells her students that I think is a fantastic mantra for all of us - Exude the mood. Her students know that if they want to have a good experience with their horse, they need to relax, because when they relax, the horse relaxes and fantastic communication can then begin on an intuitive level. The student has creativity at their fingertips, with the ability to stay in flow with the horse as well as being in flow with what they need to do to navigate the course ahead of them. This is no different then the relationship between us humans and life. When we wake up to what we’re doing to ourselves when we’re overthinking, it is so helpful for remembering to stop what we’re doing and relax, so we can see clearly, hear our deeper intelligence more clearly, have creativity at our fingertips, and have wide open hearts allowing for life to flow to us and through us.
Exude. The. Mood.
Last thing I’d like to mention before we go - in the same vein of all that I’ve just talked about.. life is constantly showing up for us to level us up, to aid in our growth, in our expansion... we’re the ones that question it. It’s understandable because often times when life shows up for us in a new or challenging way, albeit in our relationships, our careers, or our own personal growth, it feels scary because it’s new territory. It wouldn’t be showing up for us if it wasn’t meant for us. It wouldn’t even be in our orbit, in our awareness, if there wasn’t a gift of learning or growth hidden away inside of it. There are things happening for folks all day every day that we know nothing about because those experiences aren’t for us. And I’m not talking about destiny, I’m just talking about life. Every opportunity, whether it’s perceived as positive or negative, is an invitation for raising the basements. For doing things differently, for trying something that will inevitably call for us to break through our own glass ceiling. I just wanted to remind you that - life is nothing but a classroom, an opportunity for a deeper expression of YOU to come forward. Don’t forget it... and again...
Exude the mood.
Sending love in all directions and I’ll see you next week!
Jess
