My Anxiety Named Bruce

Do you ever have too many things going on in too many different directions, where you feel out of control?

Ugh. Me too.

I recently got through a fit of anxiety and in the middle of it, I wished I could transport back in time to Saturday, when there wasn't a care in the world: I was with my husband, in a beautiful landscape two hours out of Los Angeles, watching our best friend compete in a riding competition with her stunner horse love-bug, Roxy (both Roxy & my friend did GREAT by the way).

This is me with Roxy, both without a care in the world (obviously)

That anxiety I mentioned? Well, in case you're new to my posts, our feelings always come from our thinking, and I was in a thought storm of things I needed to accomplish: Two important phone calls needed to be made, a workshop inquiry needed to be tended to, I was needing to write this blog post (which brings on alllll the thoughts about which experience or insight I should share with you all that would make the most sense or the biggest impact on your life); I had thoughts about my friends, my family, and the fact that I needed to schedule the following day (which brings on alll the thoughts about what needs to be done: exercise, pay that bill, pay for that class, post to social media, email that client, outline that workshop, call that friend, GO to said class you have to pre-pay for... oh shit! you haven't listened to that audio you were supposed to listen to FOR that class... ugh, be sure to fit that in too!) and so on...

And then I remembered...

"You're in your thoughts, Jessie. You feel nauseated, anxious, and out of control because you're in your thoughts. Look around, what's happening? Oh, it's a lovely afternoon with your husband, listening to music while he drives us to Target. Jesus. Come back to the moment, Jessie. Aaah, hello again." And then the anxiety dissipated, like magic. Out of all fairness, because I am constantly holding a candle to my life experience so I can put my work to the test and share with you all the results, I was able to see my thinking for what it was VERY quickly. That muscle is quite strong, and I expect it will get stronger every day for the rest of my life. But guess what? So can yours (yup, you heard me right... I am NOT special, to say the least, we're alike in every way).

If you suffer from overthinking which leads to anxiety or panic, hear me out on this (and if you're one of the lucky few that never feels an iota of anxiety, please send me the results to your latest blood test, I don't think you're human). Knowing that our feelings come from our thinking, I had this insight while my anxiety veil was being lifted. Name your anxiety. Literally give your anxiety or panic attacks a name - not the name of someone you hate in life or someone that has treated you badly, but a generic name that brings a smile to your face. Like Bruce or Liam - Ashley or Veronica (I have no emotional attachment to said names, so forgive me if I've listed off someone that's important to you!). It dawned on me that when my thinking is going around in circles so badly that I get anxious, it's not just because of the thoughts I'm thinking, but the thoughts ABOUT the thoughts. I can allow the list of things I have to do tomorrow to show up in my head and move through me, no problem. But it's when I start getting concerned ABOUT that list of things, therefore having thoughts ABOUT my thoughts, that the anxiety begins. SO if I'm beginning to feel the side effects of anxiety before I'm actually aware of the thoughts in my head, I can next time go "Oh hey Bruce, haven't seen you in a while, I don't feel like dealing with you today, thanks!" and I can go on about my day even quicker than going into the thought storm!

Ok so I have something to admit, after I had the insight, I realized I had heard of this technique back while I was in college for Psychology. But it was never as clear to me as it was when it came through my wisdom today. I want you to be able to recognize thoughts for what they are - that they're an energy of your own creation, a story of your own telling - that you can choose to believe, or not. But on your journey to gaining this understanding on a deep level, if it takes you calling out your feelings of anxiety by name so you can recognize it for what it is, as opposed to analyzing each and every thought going through your head (making the anxiety even worse!), then I say do it. For me, all I have to do now is say "Ugh, I'm having anxious thoughts," I check in with the reality of what's going on around me, and it passes. You will get there too. In the end, all it is is choosing to stop believing what's going on in your head as truth. But dammit, life can be hard. I understand. So let's grab a tool box and fill it up together.

Have a wonderful week and I'll see you on the next go-around ~

XO,

Jessie

The Feeling Behind Unity

Pride, overwhelming love, HOPE, justice, appreciation, contentment, JOY, awe, adoration, admiration, sadness, introspection, connecting devotion...

It is so hard to describe a feeling sometimes, especially when an experience is so overwhelming to my mind that all I can do is cry. That is exactly how I felt this past Saturday joining thousands of humans for the Women's March in Los Angeles, and the above adjectives are the best I can do right now (and it's been over 24 hours). The March was the second in it's history, but the first that I attended, and with every vulnerable bone in my body, I admit to you that the reason I didn't go to the first one was because...

I was scared.

I had been SO upset about the Presidential election results, I was so depleted and at a loss for words for the lack of emotional intelligence in my country, I felt blindsided. Politics aside, how could someone with no leadership skills, no kindness in his heart, no respect for women, and no experience (to say the least), be elected into the most 'honorable' seat in the White House? I was sick to my stomach and sobbed among coworkers - it was the first time in all my years that an election would shake me to my core.

Then the light came. The first ever Women's March was announced and I felt rejuvenated. I would be there, at my first ever protest, to stand with women from every cultural background, socioeconomic status, life experience and age to send the message that we are no longer standing down and absorbing the belief that we are not equal and voiceless. The day grew near, conversations were bubbling all around me with feelings of excitement, and all I was feeling was scared. What was happening? When the March was first announced I felt such an immense amount of hope and like I could be part of the solution, a part of history, a part of this huge cultural shift that I was bearing witness to...

My thoughts.

I look back now and as the day of the March was getting closer and closer, I was allowing and believing my thoughts over my wisdom. What if we all got attacked? What if I became claustrophobic? What if I didn't get down there early enough to meet up with people I knew? And so on and so on. These thoughts, when typed out, look so meager and easily dismissible, but especially that first one looked so real to me that it brought feelings of anxiety and stress that froze me. The day came and I just. couldn't. do it. My alarm went off and I snoozed it, but I was racked with sweat and an upset stomach because I was going against my wisdom. By the time I got up, I'm sure I still could've made it (it was still morning, of course), but my thoughts won yet again: Telling me there's no way I could get down there in time or even consider finding someone I knew (because god-forbid I do this on my own!), so I may as well stay home. I don't know about you, but what I've realized from my past behavior is that if I go against my wisdom, I end up wasting a significant amount of time (in this case, an entire day) ruminating in my head - creating thoughts upon thoughts - as to why I made the decision I did. Justifying (again, just thoughts). On this day I eventually told myself that it was in my best interest, and my own form of protest, to work on developing my program, What Moves You. What better way to show my solidarity then to continue to flush out my work that would eventually be teaching people to follow their wisdom and take their thoughts less seriously - my way of helping humanity to never make such an emotionally detached decision ever again. Well, here's what's so ironic - that's a pretty beautiful conclusion I had come to, but I couldn't even type a single word that day or research a single book, because I was going against my wisdom, and taking my scared thoughts VERY seriously.

Cut to a year later, just this past weekend, and there was a quick moment I didn't think I would be able to attend. My husband and I had plans to go out of town, but we didn't have to leave til noon since he had to work (the old thoughts were coming up a little bit too, but these days I make a concerted effort to trust my wisdom, so I let it go to see what would come up). Sure enough, the spiritual work was already in motion because I happened to reach out to my best friend about a completely different subject, and she wound up telling me she was getting downtown by 7am for the March. There it was, I felt so in line with my wisdom that there was no denying it. The next morning I shot out of bed and got myself out the door with my "THE FUTURE IS FEMALE" shirt on (gifted to me by the same friend, no surprise), and I was giddy like a 7 year old on Christmas morning. As I've been witnessing, when I continue to follow my wisdom on a moment-to-moment basis, the rest of the day unfolds in my favor. And of course on this day, it went seamlessly and beautifully, so much so that I felt short of breath from the love expounding from my body. As I walked the 15 blocks from my car to my friends, the images I witnessed made me cry (remember the experiences that are so overwhelming to my mind that make me cry? Now we're caught up...)

"It's better to show up, than to give up" - Bernie Sanders

They tried to bury us - They didn't know we were seeds

Feminism is not a female cause. It is a human one.

Twitter Rants Unite More People!

Above all else, I hope you see yourself in this story. I hope you can begin to recognize the moments in your life when your wisdom is moving you in a direction and your thoughts are the only thing stopping you. That you feel empowered enough from learning more about your thinking, that you choose your knowing. What I felt on Saturday was out of body, and that bliss is part of my life on a daily basis these days. I can only imagine what will happen as each day passes and the voice of my wisdom becomes louder than the voice of my thoughts, but know that this is absolutely possible for you too. What Moves You?

With all my love.

See you next week,

Jessie

Wisdom & A Roller Skating Rink

When was the last time you followed your wisdom, your gut instinct, to do something you really wanted to do? Something fun, out of the box, and completely for yourself? It's tricky, I know, because often times we get the pull to do the new adventure, then our made up thoughts come in the picture and clobber it with 'logic' as to why you shouldn't do it: You don't have time, you don't have the money, you've never been there so what if something happens to you? Maybe you've never done it before so you make pictures of what your experience may be like, what you'll look like or what others will think.

Oy vey - thoughts are exhausting, am I right?!

Well let me tell you, more than just the immense amount of joy you'll be met with from following through with what your wisdom is nudging you to do, is the magic that you'll witness all around you - the beauty of life and how it unfolds, all because you followed your soul-pull.

I recently followed through on a soul-pull to go roller skating, and I'm telling you now, what I experienced ended up being far beyond the joy I could've ever imagined (though I had a feeling it was going to be pretty darn magical). I grew up roller skating, so my nostalgia was through the roof. From the woman at the admission window (who had blatantly been working there for decades) inquiring if I'd be paying 8 bucks for a skate ticket or 13 for a skate and rent - said with her perfectly frosty pink lipstick and a 'honey' with every interaction. To the 80's carpet, the disco balls and the smell of nacho cheese and feet... I was in heaven. I got there right at the beginning of Open Skate and the throwback tunes were already bumping and skaters of every age, cultural background and skill level were zooming, falling and timidly holding on to the carpet wall, simultaneously and blissfully - let me repeat, I was in heaven.

Moonlight Rollerway, Glendale, CA - aka: HEAVEN

As I'm sure you can gather, my joy was through the roof. I went by myself and couldn't have had a better time bearing witness to everything going on around me: the sweet interactions between lovebirds, the care of a parent coaching their little one, the bliss of a senior skating circles around us all; And the gift of the quiet nature of skating itself, the space it allowed for me to reflect on my state of mind as I watched everything unfold around me.

So where's the lesson in it all, you ask? Well, I had a few bubble up for me. To begin, it is truly remarkable that when I listen inward, when I honor my wisdom and follow through with what it tells me, how any concerning thoughts about life simply melt away. When I am overwhelmed with joy and filled to the brim with that loving feeling, any concerning thinking that may normally plague me is either absent, or it moves through my head before I even have time to take it seriously. I can observe those thoughts passing through my head like the ticker tape at the bottom of a news cast, as opposed to a headline at the top of a newspaper. Additionally, when I'm in this joyful space, I am naturally and effortlessly brought to the moment. I become so open-hearted that I feel as though someone has cracked my chest open to reveal a glowing heart, and the feeling lasts as long as I choose to stay in it. And as you can imagine, when I'm not in my own world of thought, when I'm present and open-hearted, every interaction with the world around me is smooth, kind, understanding, effortless and even humorous. Can you think of a time, activity or vacation that makes you feel this way? How does remembering that thought make you feel? Isn't it amazing that just thinking about that wonderful experience brings you peace? And you're still sitting in the same spot, nothing has changed but your thinking (I'm looking back at you with a wink).

Speaking of life being more humorous when you're full of joy, I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear watching the kiddos in the rink. It was so wonderful to watch them fall over and over and over, and continue to get back up on their feet without a thought. Not only were they determined to be good at skating, but they effortlessly threw themselves into tricks and new moves without any hesitation. The ultimate lesson in following my wisdom being played out right in front of me.

As we age, we create so much thought around our experience - for example if we fall from skating, we create thinking that we're not good at it, so we stop. And not only do we stop, but we make up a story around that fall that lasts with us for the rest of our lives and affects decision making as long as we believe it. From that point forward, we will no longer skate because we 'always' fall - even though it was a one time experience. But who knows, maybe you had some fearful thinking in your head before you started skating that you may fall and embarrass yourself, so the fall is now evidence for that made up thinking (and heck, maybe you fell because of a tiny rock on the ground, or you turned around too quickly, or were human and lost your balance for a split second!) Isn't that incredible? It's amazing how many of us have created an entire world of thought around one experience, and that lasting thought (or thoughts) is then a cemented belief about ourselves, or that experience, for the rest of our lives. When really, it's a news headline thought that we've believed, and it's stopping us short from having new wonderful experiences because we have those lenses on anytime a similar opportunity comes up for us.

You see, as you may be beginning to understand, we live and experience our thinking, not the world around us. The more we can understand that, the more we aren't plagued by thoughts - we see them for what they are, let them pass, and come back to the moment. Life becomes more rich, full of color, peaceful and oh-so-enjoyable. Is there an activity or experience in life that you would like to have but the only thing that stops you is your thoughts about it? Are those thoughts true? Are they really true? How would you feel, and what would you do, if you didn't have those thoughts? It seems simple, because it is! With different thinking, we have different experiences of life.

Finally, with today being Martin Luther King, Jr. day, it feels fitting to share my final insight that brought tears to my eyes as I skated around this ol' skating rink. Humans want to connect. We want to help each other. We want to lift each other up when we fall, literally and figuratively. Without our prejudices, our judgements, our divisive and dividing thinking, we have the same goals of living a love and joy filled life - that's it, plain and simple. And guess what, if you take away that individual thinking, the individual reality we each live in, what are we? The same. We may be in different skin suits, but on the inside, we are totally and utterly the same. We are One. Seeing all of the people that came together to enjoy some skating on a simple Friday afternoon: From the two East Indian girls clinging to the walls and watching everyone take turns to give them pointers on how to skate better, to the African American mom helping her daughter skate and having every child gravitate towards her for help because her energy was SO welcoming. From the Caucasian senior citizen having a lovely lone skate willing to help anyone struggling around him, to the Armenian teenage couple that had the biggest smiles on their faces after he gave them pointers. Witnessing a new friendship evolve between the Asian group of twenty-somethings and the Mexican group of twenty-somethings in the matter of two hours. Every falling child and adult was lent a hand by another in the rink, every human being having the time of their lives and becoming fast friends with each other,  I couldn't have been more proud to be witness to the love that is real between us all. What a gift.

So with all of this, dear readers, I hope you begin to honor yourself and follow what your wisdom tells you when you listen inward. And for the love of god, take your made up thoughts a little less seriously! Doing so will begin to effortlessly shift your energy and your experience of life, and therefore the world around you, as we are living a life from the inside-out, always.

See you again next week.

XO,

Jessie

The AHA's from a Cold in Paradise

Happy 2018 dear ones! How have you been?! I hope your Christmas and New Year were exactly what you needed, whether with family and connection, or space from it all, I hope you got some much deserved rest & relaxation.

To jump right in, have you ever been on vacation, finally at your destination that you've been looking forward to for months, and you get SICK?! If not, I'm sure you can relate in other ways such as getting sick the day of an event you've been looking forward to, or when a friend comes to town, or on your first day of a new job, etc. Oh, it's the worst. Like, really body? You couldn't have planned this a little better? Well it happened to me on a stunning trip to Mexico over the New Year, and frankly, I was a little taken aback by my peaceful state throughout the experience as well as the AHA's I was able to have because of my state of mind. Read on...

It's the beginning of the trip when my husband Mike and I have been notified that a majority of the family we're seeing once we arrive to Isla Mujeres (an island that is a 20 minute ferry ride from Cancun) have been dropping like flies (no pun intended) from a bug that was going around. No problem, we've got this! Mike has instilled in me that the moment you begin to think sick, you get sick, so we're already in the mindset of, if we get it, we'll fight it! ("I'm starting to get sick" vs. "I'm fighting something" is a great way to re-frame an illness into a positive action that keeps you more relaxed, the mind holds a majority of our healing power!) A few days go by and there it is... that little tickle/itch thing in the base of my throat that everyone was talking about. Of course my initial thought/reaction the morning I woke up with it was, 'Oh, damn it' - but what do I always say? Our feelings come from our thoughts, so I quickly moved to the positive and was grateful my throat wasn't sore, that my energy was up and I was looking at the most stunning views I could ever imagine. Behold... (and mind you, NO FILTER!)

As the days passed, the symptoms got worse, but I stayed in the "fighting something" mindset as opposed to succumbing to the sickness. Every time I was asked how I was doing I responded with different versions of "I'm definitely fighting something, but I'm good!" And truly, with the knowledge that I am always ok, my suffering would only be coming from my thinking around what I was fighting (not the sickness itself), I was left in a more relaxed and peaceful state of mind. Allowing me to be flexible with what my body needed, the plans ahead in the day and truly leaving me in a good mood!

So where am I going with this?

When we're ill, it's difficult not to acquiesce to all of our thinking around how shitty we feel, because the truth is, we feel shitty! It sucks to not be able to breathe without a gurgle in your chest or to have to pass on the Mezcal because your higher self knows it'll make you feel even shittier. But guess what? Without the thinking around our sickness - the analyzing every change in symptom, the thoughts around how we can't have a good time any more or how the vacation is ruined, or how we can't have a drink without knowing it isn't good for us (but by golly you're gonna kick your heels up in some capacity! Note: I obviously didn't always pass on the Mezcal) - without those thoughts, you are simply back in the moment, able to still enjoy what is in front of you - you just happen to also be fighting something.

Now, let me be clear, I am not saying that if you feel like crap and need to lay down and feel all the feels, that you should instead "think positive" and keep it movin. Heck no. Creating any more thinking between you and the moment you're in is going to create more stress in the body, ESPECIALLY forced positive thinking, when you're not feeling very positive. But the more you can take your thoughts less seriously in general, allowing them to pass like clouds in the sky, a more positive state of mind (aka: Mood) naturally bubbles up, giving you a more positive feeling.

This is the freedom from our thinking I always talk about, and this is just one instance in a plethora of many that we're met with EVERY moment of every day. Does it take work? Hell yes, especially when you're new to the understanding. Does it get easier? Yes, however, we're met with new experiences that challenge our thoughts all the time that can catch us off guard. Even after making it through the vacation in a pretty peaceful state of mind around my sickness, I was tested again on our flight back to Los Angeles. Cold medicine was sold out everywhere we went, so I flew sans drugs, which would've helped dry me up (ps... I flew with a scarf wrapped around my face in hopes to save other flyers from catching my snot monster). So when we were descending into Los Angeles, in the matter of one moment, I was in incredible pain in my face, even my teeth were zinging from my nerves going crazy from the congestion. After a quick trip down negative thought lane, I checked myself. I decided to focus on my breathing, visualizing sipping air into my belly slow and steady and being grateful that we were nearly home. And guess what happened? The pain didn't stop of course, but because my thoughts were peaceful, my body became relaxed and I was brought back to the moment. I looked out the window and saw this insanely beautiful moment... (again, no filter)

My beautiful city, all lit up, and La Bella Luna shining right in my face. I couldn't have asked for a more breath-taking experience to support me coming back to a peaceful state of mind.

So dear readers, I hope this story gets you a little deeper into the understanding that you are living from the inside-out, always - even when something like a cold is so seductively trying to convince you otherwise - it is your choice, in every moment of every day, to think something different. And in this case, not only did I benefit from being on top of my thinking because I was able to still enjoy my vacation, but my sickness didn't get too bad since I stayed relaxed (had I succumbed to my upset thinking, you can only imagine how sick I could have gotten had I sent myself into a stressful state!), and my husband and friends still enjoyed being around me since I wasn't in a miserable mood!

Happiest of Mondays to you all and I look forward to seeing you again next week. As always, be sure to leave me a comment or get in touch should you have any questions!

XO,

Jessie

Follow your gut...

I know you've heard it before... "Follow your gut" or "What does your gut say?" But I'm here to encourage you from experience, after continuing to walk my talk, to truly DO IT... then sit back and watch the magic unfold.

In what I teach, following your gut is also referred to as following your wisdom. Your wisdom being that knowing that bubbles up one millisecond before your thoughts clobber the hell out of it. It is an innate GPS system built into us. It has all the answers on what is best for us on a moment to moment basis, no matter the situation we're in. From our safety and well-being to career choices; From relationship matters to what we're going to eat for dinner to our health, we know what is best for us, at all times. It exists within ALL of us, even if you feel like yours took a hike sometime ago.

So if we have the answers all of the time, then why don't we listen to and trust ourselves? Why are we constantly believing our negative thoughts over our wisdom, and justifying those thoughts as 'logic'? Well, the following things I know for sure: Fear of failure and making the wrong decision are definitely strong-willed thoughts that bring up some undeniably yucky feelings (reminder: our feelings are always coming from our thinking, not the world around us. Take a peak at last weeks post >HERE< for more on that). And when we have a whole mess of negative thinking around something that brings up awful feelings, it makes the negative thinking seem really real about the world around us. Another reason? Sometimes our wisdom tells us exactly what we DON'T want to hear, even though it is truly what is best for us. Need an example? Read on...

I started developing What Moves You while I was working at a top talent agency in Los Angeles. However, when I began working there, I had the intent of it being the career I would retire from - What Moves You was no where in sight. After about 8 months at the agency, I slammed into an emotional wall and had no idea what hit me. I continued to go through the motions of life til one evening I caught an episode of Oprah interviewing Jack Canfield (Author of The Success Principles and the Chicken Soup for the Soul series), and he said something that made me feel like he was talking directly to me...

"You don't want to get to the top of the ladder only to find out you had it leaning up against the wrong wall."

OMG... MIC DROP...

What happened next? The ultimate soul search. See, I had been so caught up in my thinking around how I couldn't believe that I, Jessie, the girl who always had a plan, felt lost. How could that be? That's not who I am! (Ps - that's just a thought). I had a lot of noise to sift through to get to my wisdom, even though it was always there. The first step was to read The Success Principles, which had fabulous information to help chip away at what my soul-pull was. Then one day, like magic, my noisy thinking had subsided while I was in the shower and the answer bubbled up from my wisdom... "Build a program that helps people get out of their thoughts and trusting their wisdom."

HALLE-FRIGGIN-LUJAH!!

But guess what happened next? ALL the thoughts.. "OMG if I have to develop something, how long will THAT take? Geez, that seems like I'm just wasting time! Wait, and what if I do all of that and it doesn't even work out? How would I even become successful with something like this?" Holy toledo did my thoughts go crazy. But do you know what was wonderful about that specific experience? Even though my wisdom had come through with something that wasn't a quick fix to my career stressors (it would have been so much easier to get a job that I could apply for with no real effort beyond editing my resume), it gave me the answer to my life's purpose, my soul-pull. Even though it wasn't an easy path, it was the right one.

Of course, I am human, and choosing to stay in the high-stress job for what ended up being nearly two more years while I developed What Moves You, felt like a giant mountain to climb sometimes. But every time my thoughts told me to get another job while I worked on my program because it was all getting to be too much, I would ask myself "Is it time to leave?" and every time my wisdom came back with, "NO." And do you know why? Working there evolved into my greatest education, even beyond my paid-for college degrees. It gave me the opportunity to put my work into motion. What do I constantly say? We live from the inside-out from our own, personal, thought-generated reality. And with this high-stress job in entertainment where everything looked like it was affecting me from the outside-in, I can tell you now after putting in the work of monitoring where my thoughts were all day, every day - we are most definitely, undeniably, living from the inside-out.

Why this story for today's Monday Musings? It felt completely right to share, heading into the new year. I want you all to begin following your wisdom, one small step at a time. What do you want to eat for lunch? Follow it. You've received an email from a co-worker that's a little passive aggressive and your wisdom is telling you to pick up the phone instead of email back? DO IT, you'll be shocked at how it works out for you. Yes, it may be uncomfortable sometimes, but I'm telling you, life unfolds for you in the most positive of ways when you follow it. Like I say ALL THE TIME, you are human, I am human; It's difficult to get in touch with what's right for us if we have a mess of thinking making a crap-ton of noise in our heads. But we will all be getting deeper and more in touch with our wisdom, learning to honor and trust it more consistently as we grow, every moment, of every day, for the rest of our lives. I want you to feel what it feels like, I want you to see the magic that happens when you do so. You will become more open-hearted, you'll create more connection with others, you'll begin falling in love with life, all over again.

Here's to you, and all of your wisdom.

XO,

Jessie

Staying in the Swill

Have you ever experienced staying in the swill? By staying in the swill I'm referring to that heavy feeling that you put on like a cloak day-in and day-out because you're trapped in your thoughts of worry, fear, or doubt. You try really hard to focus on things you're grateful for, or opportunities that lie ahead, but you generally end up back at square one, feeling like crap. You maybe even have moments that give you hope for a better feeling because you laugh at something, or a wonderful idea or memory passes through your mind; But the moment those positive thoughts cross through and they bring you peaceful feelings, the swill thoughts (or what I like to call, thought turds) pop into your head like the school marm who catches you laughing during a test...

"Don't you dare begin to feel at peace and relaxed, you have to focus on all the things you're worried about!"

Well let me tell you, I have absolutely been experiencing this state of mind for the last week, and am feeling like I've finally emerged through the other side of the fire - a little scathed, and A LOT relieved...

Lauren Hurt Photography

So what in the world happened? Well, I had an experience over the holiday break that was pretty traumatic and put me in an immediate low mood. Like, permanent nausea, rash on my face (literally) type of low mood (my skin likes to make sure I know where I'm at in my state of mind, isn't that nice?!) And as I remind clients and students in my What Moves You community, when you're in a low mood, it can be difficult to see life clearly, to hear the positive intention behind what others are saying, or to even register the positive experiences in life that are happening all around you.

Why is that? It's quite simple actually. We are experiencing life through the lens of our thinking, every moment of every day. Even though it is quite seductive to think that life is happening TO us, or our feelings are coming from what's going on around us, we are in actuality ALWAYS having an inside-out experience; Looking at life THROUGH the lens of the thoughts swirling around in our heads, each and every moment. Being that I had had a traumatic experience, there were multiple things going on inside me:

• For days following I was trying to make sense of what happened. Why did it happen? How could things have gone differently? And so on...
• I was constantly trying to make sense of an upsetting situation that was over and I obviously couldn't time travel to change it, so I was in a perpetual funk. A low mood. A sadness.
• Due to the funky low mood, even if I wasn't thinking about the specific experience, I was seeing life through those lenses - like a pair of glasses full of fingerprints and smudges. I couldn't see clearly; My state of mind was shot. So every little aspect of my life that I had a stressful thought about was amplified ten-fold.

How was I able to overcome the thoughts and therefore the funk? Number one, I had to remind myself that I'm human and it is OK to get swooped up into the negative thought storms once in a while; Surrendering to that understanding in itself began to auto-correct my state of mind. I began to appreciate and love myself for having had the experience, and that it was truly over and in the past. Every time I thought about it, I was making the choice to hit replay on that movie, so I finally made the choice to stop hitting replay.

You see, our feelings come from our thinking, not from the world around us. So every time I was hitting replay on that movie, even if just for a moment, stress and anxiety riddled my body. From there, if I thought about normal life stressors about my life or work while in that feeling, those stressors felt so incredibly real and huge and heavy, they seemed out of my control and I would freeze. I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. Mind you, if I were in a positive state of mind, those life stressors would of course still cross my mind, but I would easily be able to let them pass or they would motivate me into action, therefore moving them through my mind without even trying.

Bottom line is, we are the thinkers. No one is climbing inside of our heads crafting our thoughts for us. We have a huge bandwidth for a massive variety of thoughts that we think all day, every day: the construct of who we are (I'm introverted, I'm funny, I'm sarcastic), judgements of ourselves or others, memories & experiences; To what we plan to eat later in the day or what pen we choose to pick up to write with, and EVERYTHING in between. We have so many thoughts crossing our minds at the speed of light, that we often can't keep up. But the more we have an understanding that we are the generators of all those thoughts, and we have the free will to pick and choose what to pay attention to OR we can just observe them flowing through our mind like a ticker tape at the bottom of our television screens, the more at peace we are. As Elsie Spittle so wisely said in her book, Nuggets of Wisdom...

Remember that the nature of Thought is pure energy, so it flows. Use thought wisely - let negative thoughts flow through your mind. Then your natural well-being will rise to the surface.

So dear reader, I hope this shines a little light on where your life experience is coming from, as well as some peace of mind that thought storms and low moods happen to each and every one of us. Having the understanding of where my feelings and funk were coming from, sure helped me to trust that I didn't have to be afraid of what was happening to me, and I knew it would all inevitably pass. But darn it, life can be hard, it will throw you punches, and it's OK to have to work it through sometimes.

See you again next week, XO ~   

Jessie